Tearing my hair out!

Control what you can let go of what you cant.  Wise words from my sister.  I now take a deep breath and let it flow.  At the moment the little fights will keep you going.  They say those who rally against illness will survive illness.  Chosing when you go bald is a little fight but a good one I think.

Have a look at headcovers.com - a US site but some great ideas. I started with a couple of caps to go under my hats and then progressed from there - sales at the surf shops, markets etc.  Plus my family has sent me some fabulous headcovers - on a most beautiful swimming cap with large flowers - for post radiation.   I wish I had taken photos through me stages of chemo, I have started now inspired by a blog I found on ABC Open radio.  http://open.abc.net.au/posts/the-art-of-living-64dt3uz/in/tags/petrusblog .  Some people are so talented.  But is is proving a good outlet to cope with the changes.  I have decided against a wig.  I like hats and at the moment with the flushing from eary menopause they are easy to whip on and off.  I must say I giggle when I see peoples reaction if I am out and about and whip off the cap.  My friend sent me a cap with earring holes in it - for when my ears cant take the weight of dangly things.  Such a great idea and you cant tell they are not in my ears.

Keep rallying when you can, all the rest of the times be gentle on yourself and remember you are not alone.

 

You should buy some of the stick on tatts, and apply them before seeing them next time and say that you decided to take there advice, as youhad the hair, you may as well get the tatts.

I think that is a good idea, maybe I will getsome and stick them on my neckand head <LOL> maybe a pretty butterfly on my nude noggin would look good, if people are going to stare, then I say give'em something to stare AT. <LOL>.

I have had the GI Jane comments, and I don't mind. I am coping fine with my lack of hair and do not want to wear a wig, I even go out without my hat on (sure I am not totally bald yet - Number 2 but with a lot of it going, so a very thin overing of number 2 <LOL>)

A sense of humour is SO necessary, when dealign with anything medical, as you lose so much of the control you had (or at least thought you had), that a sense of humour is necesssary.

Also do not get upset about getting down or depressed, depression is a NORMAL reaction to what we are going through, the anxiety, fear, worry and everything is normal as is GRIEF - grief ofr our boobs, grief for our hair, Grief for our health, grief for what we thought we would be doing and so and so forth, the 5 stage of grief with come back to you over and over and this is 100% normal.

Fanx so much I can so doooooo with your humour tonight.  You even got a smile :-) out of me on one of my downer days so you did well.  My best friend wants to know where my harley and me tats are??  

I am normally very positive and have been so positive BUT we keep getting put the test.  You get knocked down, you brush yourself off and keep fighting each day as it presents itself cause at the moment each day presents a different thing to deal with.  I am a fighter and like all you ladies we just keep on trucking.

Take care, you keep that quirky sense of humour happening girl cause you, your family and all your BC family luvya for it.

Mich x

Hi Joe

Thanks heaps for all of your advice it is very helpful.  I got a number 3 hair cut and I am happy with that for now.  My hair is still falling out but at least it is only tiny lil bits.  It is very tempting to pull on the lil stubby bits...........

I am not sure how I am feeling at the moment.  I think I am still feeling numb which is how I have felt a lot of the time.  I guess I worry and stress about everything until it actually happens and then I just get on and deal with it the best way I can.

The two beautiful young hairdressers in our lil country town are so sweet and kept talking to me and saying how positive and strong I was and that I could pull off not having much hair and things like that.  They also managed to organise no other clients to be in the salon for the time I was there so that made things so much easier.  I was lucky.  I keep telling myself how lucky I am and guess you just get on with it.

Thanks again and good luck as you continue your journey.  Chemo number 2 coming up for me next Monday.  Mmmmmm can't wait.

But I also have my daughters  wedding to look forward to on Easter Saturday which is very exciting  :-) 

Mich x

Hi girls

I am booked in at the hairdressers to have my head shaved today.  So I am very apprehensive and feeling sick about it.  I woke up this morning from a very restless sleep as my head was too sore to sleep on the pillow properly.  I was angry when I woke cause I knew what had to be done but thought no just hold off for a while.  Then when I combed my hair and it was coming out in clumps all over the basin I said that is it.  I have my daughters wedding shower high tea on Saturday so if I get rid of this dead as a door nail mop sitting on my head I can get used to wearing the wig a bit around the house so i will feel more comfortable about wearing it on Saturday.  I am not looking forward to seeing my bald head as I know I am not one of the lucky ladies who can get around with no hair and still look beautiful.

Wish me luck.

Mich x

Hi Joey

What happened with chemo ? I have been terrifed of having a reaction!! are you okay ?? you poor thing ,dont worry i feel like shit too,I think  i have developed a cold , not sure what to do have called nurse she has told me to take cold and flu tabs what if it gets worse ?? all this insecurity on top of feeling like crap is not helping .

Hope your okay let me know

P.S . I enjoyed your video thanks ( but still made me a bit sad )

Take Care

Pip xxxx

You can see my video here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hI4ZbdTDjNM 

Yes the chemo has made me sick and I only have worked a few short hours since my diganosis.  I sort of feel a bit like the token cancer chick at work with not a lot of expectation on me as my attendance has been very unreliable.  I had a reaction to my chemo today so my regime will be changed and I'm hoping that doesn't impact too much on my work.  I'm feeling quite depressed about it.  Like a failure.  I know it isn't my fault I reacted so violently to it but we all know that having a spanner in the works at this stage feels like a major setback and brings back a lot of fear.

You'll find your own sense of humour in it.  This is the forum to have one and feel safe in the knowledge that you're not offending or confusing every one.  We're all going through similar experiences.  Have a look at the thread I started called "You know you're on chemo when..."  It's a real giggle.

Take care

Jo xx

Hi Joey

How you going ? Would love to see your video how can i view it?

Thanks for the scarf advice,i have been wearing them around the house so is not to scarce my self every time i pass a mirror !!

I think its good that you have kept on working , keeps your mind busy, i haven't been back to work since being diagnosed just coudn't face it , i was lucky i had income protection on my superanuation that i didn't know I had , i just stumbled across it , well i hope centrelink comes through for you soon ,money is last thing you need to worry about , that goes for all of us.

Has the chemo made you sick ? 

The chemo has made me sick and I'm finding it depressing as well , the last couple of days i have been crying , the funny thing is that i'm usually a very strong person and thats how all my friends see me as , not feeling strong now  LoL

I like your sense of humour wish i had some of it at the moment !!

Take Care Pip x

Just wanted to say I love your sense of humour, Joey. Keep it up, it will help get you through the tough times, and it will all be over soon. I too am having 4 cycles 3 weeks apart and next week is my last cycle, I'm almost there. It does come to an end!

We will love hearing from you on this network, so keep posting!

Take care and all the best for your treatment

Julie x

 

Hi Joey

I did the same thing started pulling my hair out ! I couldn't stop , so i also have a patchy head ( it is now shaved but i have bristles)

I am having trouble looking at myself now ,it makes me feel depressed when i pass by a mirror around the house,I do have wigs for when i go out .

I have just had my 2nd chemo ( need 6) tac on monday and i feel awful ,last time i was sick for around 7 days , I am trying to stay posotive but its hard sometimes , I feel like my whole world has turned upside down.

Best Wishes Pip x