Struggling
I was diagnosed in Sept, on fri 13th lol! I have tried to stay positive, mainly for everyone else including my husband who tries but doesnt really want to know what i'm going through. I know he's sca...
Forum Discussion
All these comments sound so familiar. I had chemo first as they wanted to shrink the tumour that was under my collarbone and in my axilla before they did surgery. Thankfully the chemo worked on those and reduced the size of the one in my breast. I came through chemo quite well considering. I had a double mastectomy which funnily enough I wasn't too concerned about. I was more concerned about whether I would wake up or not. I had trouble with a previous surgery years ago. I didn't have much pain at all. I didn't take any painkillers (I don't like them at the best of times). I had radiation afterwards which was a breeze. It was more tiring having to drive to the hospital everyday.
I also found that the people I thought would be there for me weren't and the people I didn't expect to be there were. I also found that once treatment was over, you feel lost emotionally. I separated four months before I was diagnosed. Luckily we remained friends (even after 18 years) and he would take me to my chemo sessions and I would stay at his house for a few days afterwards. He also dropped me off at the hospital for my surgery.
I am struggling emotionally probably because I am alone and I have no breasts and although I am comfortable within myself and love myself, I feel I am not complete for anyone else. I have made new friends since the surgery, but once they find out I have no breasts the communication is very few and far between. I'm 42 and am also post menopausal. My hot flushes aren't as bad as they were a few months ago. I am however struggling a little physically because of the tablets the Oncologist has me on (Letrozole). I feel like I'm 90 sometimes.
On the bright side, I have remained positive all the way through and know that I am a much stronger person than I was before my diagnosis (I was fairly strong then). I may not be a beautiful person on the outside but I am not going to let anyone bring me down and make me think that I am not beautiful on the inside. We all are!
As Joy said "anticipation is worse than participation". Everyone fears what they don't know. You will wake up wondering what all the fuss was about :-)
Sami xxxx