Forum Discussion

K_J_'s avatar
K_J_
Member
10 years ago

Step 3 (or is it 4?)

It feels like a long time since I posted but in reality it is only a week. Cancer warps your perspective of time. Either the days are whizzing past and you can barely keep your footing, or the hours stretch beyond reason as you are required to wait, again, for treatment or news or appointments or results or something else from the long list.

After the apocalypse of bad news last week (omg - only 8 days ago), I am now on the other side of my second surgery. Friday held a mastectomy and level 2 ax clearance. I felt amazingly well Saturday, surprised by how little pain and how much mobility I had. Today was a bit different. I woke up with more pain and I'm tired and feeling a bit flat. I did get to go home though so I'm happily tucked into my own bed.

I'm not struggling with my new, train wreck appearance. I knew it was coming, and my vanity isn't attached to my boobs. I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little shocked when I first saw it after surgery but now I kinda think it's pretty hard core. My husband thinks I look like a warrior. I'll take that, thanks.   

Now starts another period of waiting. Yes, I know I should be focused on relaxing, healing, light exercise etc etc. but all of those things allow for lots of thinking time. Yuck. I don't want to think anymore. As hideous as this whole gig is, I just want to get started on next treatment so that I feel like I'm doing something proactive. 

6 Replies

  • Ruth_Bird's avatar
    Ruth_Bird
    Member
    10 years ago

    Hey KJ

    Your husband sounds really proud of you. He's a good egg. It's great to read that you also sound proud of yourself. Tough mudder.

    I agree with Brenda5 about the marathon analogy. I did my one and only last year. It seemed like a one off thing in itself, but now I think it (more so the months of training) was preparation for this cancer experience. All I could think about then was training and the big day..and now all I can think about is breast cancer (although watching buffy the vampire slayer movie today was a great distraction). Getting fed up with thinking and really just want to cut loose with power tools and loud music.

    Keep up the posts! You're fabulous :)

  • Anonymous's avatar
    Anonymous
    Not applicable
    10 years ago

    Hi KJ, you're doing such an awesome job of this, and your strength is obvious. Just give yourself some recovery time, and know that you'll have better and worse days, we all do. Pacing yourself through each step is important and keeps you resilient. So proud of you, and sending you a big cuddle, Trace ??????????

  • Janiot's avatar
    Janiot
    Member
    10 years ago

    Hello, post my mastectomy (August) I spent days colouring in...stopped me dwelling on the negatives...my husband didn't get it?? Then I joined a a walking group (2 weeks post mastectomy) that meets most days... I'm actually a little lost today as walk isn't until this evening and I'm a little sore today due to 30 sessions of radiation- only 3 to go?? Hope you find your distraction ....

    Jan

  • emmyp's avatar
    emmyp
    Member
    10 years ago

    I love that your husband says you look like a warrior,  that's exactly what you are for the next few months!  TV series are great to watch to help occupy your mind and pass the time, the next part of your treatment will be here before you know it. Emma :)

  • iserbrown's avatar
    iserbrown
    Member
    10 years ago

    Take time to reflect rest and heal. If you have a memory of something that makes you giggle bring that out in your thinking time.

    Time goes quick enough. 

    In order to be proactive you need to have rested and healed.

    Do you have a hobby or Xmas notes to write or something  to keep your mind occupied.

    Take care and relax the best you can. It's about preparing your mind and body for the next part of the journey

    Christine xx

     

  • Brenda5's avatar
    Brenda5
    Member
    10 years ago

    That is good news you got though it ok. Just think of it as a marathon and you just got past a check in point. Some don't make it that far but for you the finish line is still waiting up there for you.

    If I want to not think I was dvd movies, or even whole series. I like them as I can pause at any time for light snoozes which you will have a few of.

    I also like to play online spider solitaire in 4 suits. It keeps my brain a bit focussed. My grandma was a mad crossword puzzler and that kept her focussed very morning of her life.

    Very nice you have good movement if a little sore. Onwards and upwards.