I can so relate to the frustration of wanting to do things and not being able to. And I can also understand if it's in your make up to have all tidy and organised, it is actually really stressful to see things out of control. My husband is being incredibly supportive ... but that doesn't mean this tidy freak hasn't had to let go of how some things are done compared to how I would want them done. This I can live with. I hsve to hor a while! :-) And before you know it, you feel we enough and your body lets you be more active. Cruelly just in time to do chemo (ahead still for me) but I'll deal with that when I have to (physical limitations wise I mean).
Some practical ideas:
1. If you can afford to, consider getting a cleaner in once a week or fortnight to tackle things like the bathroom
, floors, vacuuming etc and give you a break and keep things under control
2. If you have friends or family in your circle you can ask to help, ask away. I haven't had any practical help from friends so far. And I look at their busy lives and their own issues and think how can I ask ... but if they worked part time or did not have family issues of their own to deal with I would ask.
3. Is your husband going to appointments with you? If not it might help him understand the gravity of what you're dealing with. Perhaps make a joint appointment to meet with the oncologist psych at the hospital treating you so the situation can be explained to him and he can step up to give you the support you need
4. If he doesn't cook...time for him to learn. Even if you get grilled chicken and salad every night for a fortnight. Or perhaps chat to him about getting together in the kitchen to cook up batches of meals you can freeze in portions. Put on some music you both love, pour him a glass of wine and talk him through making a batch of bolognese/pumpkin soup/etc ... he might even
Enjoy the time you both spend doing this together.
4. If its in the budget and he doesn't come at helping prepare meals, consider looking up a local small catering business that delivers homemade meals you can freeze. Cheaper than take away and much healthier.
It's a horrible place to be ... not knowing what's ahead ... and it's even more acute at this time of year when hospitals and services go into shut down (I am
In this limbo hell myself) but as others have noted above, once results are in and a plan is in place the fear does subside and you just take the next steps.
We're all different ... but I'd be also looking to book in for some counselling with the hospital taking care of you. I am doing this myself and I am very fortunate to have a husband who can't do enough to be supportive in every way. Having this site to vent,, share and support is fantastic ... having some professional help along the way can only help more.
I hope reading the care and concern others have for you here makes you feel a little less scared.
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