So scared

Hi Jodie. I remember that feeling of total disbelief and terror you are feeling now. I was diagnosed last December having two lumps discovered by mammogram. I had no symptoms at all and now tell every woman I know to have regular mammograms. It is a scary road to travel but with the support of this wonderful group of women and your loving family, you will get through. I had a lumpectomy in February but the margin wasn't clear so it was recommended that I have chemo for six months then a mastectomy of my left breast. The chemo was tough going but that word DO-ABLE is true. I got through and sooner than I thought. I then started thinking about the mastectomy and eventually came to the decision to have both breasts removed with immediate reconstruction. I knew that I'd always be worrying about cancer coming again in my right breast so psychologically it was the best decision for me and I haven't regretted that decision. I woke up after surgery with two new breasts and I have not mourned for my old ones at all. I got the pathology results a few days later that confirmed that the cancer is gone and I have completely clear margins. I cried with relief. I didn't start blogging on BCNA until May this year and before that I was terrified at what I found through googling. I think finding this site literally saved my sanity. My family and friends have been absolute rocks for me in their support and care but the ladies here who have been or are going through this journey KNOW what you and I are going through and we can come on here and get the best support and advice and I'm so happy that I can give some back now. You will find in time you'll be able to support new members too and it feels really great. I agree with all the comments you've received here. The best thing you can do now is be kind to yourself. It's okay to cry, scream, rant and rave. As my mum always says, it's better out than in. Sending you huge cyber hugs right now. Love Janey xxx