Forum Discussion
So not what I wanted to hear
I went and got my results from surgery today. I've had chemo and then a mastectomy and full clearance. Tests came back showing cancer still in the nodes.
On the positive they did have to do a special test to see them as they were 'sparse' but still I'm gutted.
I have been keeping so positive. When I was going through chemo I felt like I Was moving to a goal of getting rid of the cancer and now I'm there and so is it.
Radiation is next and then hormone treatment. When I asked how do we know radiation worked? She said we just have to monitor for symptoms :(
Now the wait for appointment with onc and radiologist.
I feel like I did when I first heard the words 'you have cancer'. I don't want to die. I don't want this to be my life. I don't want to live with this constant fear.
Sorry just having a, this all sucks, moment.
On the positive they did have to do a special test to see them as they were 'sparse' but still I'm gutted.
I have been keeping so positive. When I was going through chemo I felt like I Was moving to a goal of getting rid of the cancer and now I'm there and so is it.
Radiation is next and then hormone treatment. When I asked how do we know radiation worked? She said we just have to monitor for symptoms :(
Now the wait for appointment with onc and radiologist.
I feel like I did when I first heard the words 'you have cancer'. I don't want to die. I don't want this to be my life. I don't want to live with this constant fear.
Sorry just having a, this all sucks, moment.
15 Replies
- Hi Lillian, goal post moving and disappointment seem to be part n parcel of this crap bc journey.You think the hard yards that you do will pay off and it's gut wrenching when it doesn't. But try to look at it another way- well done little lymph nodes for containing the cancer cells. They did their job.The anti hormone drugs are effective so you will have good protection.Despite a recurrence in 2010,I'm still cancer free 7 years later or 14 years if you count from the first bc.I still get anxious at times but have learnt to accept it and live with it.It takes time to get your confidence back- 2years?? I hope radiation goes smoothly for you and that your positive mojo returns.Big hug.xx
- I too found that my skin improved heaps when I was on chemo. The good news is that the improvement stayed when I stopped. No idea what was going on there, but you don't know what's going on half the time, and most if it isn't fun, so worth mentioning something that is a good outcome!
- @Twiggyjumps ..you are rockin that hat. :)
- Hahaha - makeup works good! When I look pale I just put on some fake tan - daughter's suggestion which is great and some eyebrow pencil everyday etc. Make an effort she says. No looking like a slump she says! LGFG class was amazing! But I have also noticed since on chemo my skin has improved as well as any little uti's and other small infections seemed to have cleared over 5 months that used to bother me from time to time. So that's a positive. Just did some exercise - bring on the world ! XXX
- @Twiggyjumps, what magazine are you going to be on the cover of?? Looking awesome!! Xx
- That gave me hope to Kath thank you. I've just finished last Chemo. Starting radiation for 25 sessions then surgery. B i g journey ! Herceptin every 21 days till April 2018 - then not sure what drugs after that. Keeping busy and moving around as much as possible helps as soon as I sit around on the couch I cave.
Went by to see a hunky exercise physiologist who gave me some gentle exercises and said if I couldn't do 30 minutes a day and get through then do something - even 10 minutes and it's true. A walk anything on the 'feel how I go' works a treat.
Thanks for your inspiration Kath.
Anne xxx - I know you had expectations but the surgery and full clearance was done as their expectations was that there is most likely some cells in there which is why radiotherapy is done to complete your treatment. Treatment always involves more than just surgery or more than just chemo or they would just do the one thing for us all. Chemo is to prevent distant metastatic spread not to just treat the initial lump and local spread...but sometimes it can really reduce that too. So be pleased that it has now been reduced to just micro spread and removed by surgery and radiotherapy is done as precaution. Think...yeah...that cancer is now out of me. Kath x
- Sorry about scan but
BE positive that the crazy critters could be seen AND that Rads should mop them up
XO Bright - Well at least you know you aren't doing all that radiation for nothing. Hopefully you cope well and eventually feel much better. <3
