This may come out not making sense as I am somewhere in between being scared shitless and f*/#&%g furious.So after the mammogram and u/sound the doctor popped her head in (obviously they could see I was starting to freak out) and said there was no changes to last years scans. Gave me a smile and said goodbye. Phew. I was feeling quite positive after that until the receptionist rang and said I needed to come back for another targeted ultra sound as the MRI had picked up something. The other two hadn't, yet again! Oh and the doctor wanted me to go tomorrow and follow her to their other facility as she is only in Ipswich on Thursdays and wanted to talk to me. So my head is in a mess and the tears are starting, my heart is pounding and I've got the shakes. I don't know if I can do all that again. I know I am over thinking and not to freak out totally before I know for sure. But FAAARRRKKK this shit,

Well ladiesManaged the 3 hour drive to Broome for CT Scan today with only 1 "wee" stop at Roebuck Roadhouse! Drank the 2 litres of water all the way there as requested and then find out that I only had to drink the 2 litres of water AFTER the scan to flush out the contrast dye! I am sure that the instructions were to drink between Derby and Broome. Oh well blame cancer brain.Anyway the radiologist said at least I was well hydrated.Results will be available on Tuesday. Got a call to see the GP regarding the blood tests from 2 weeks ago. Add the CT Scan and blood tests, all I want to do is get my husband to dig a nice hole with the backhoe in our pindan dirt for me to put my head in. I am fed up of being poked, prodded, pricked and scanned. So to compensate and reward myself for being good I ate 1 packet of lolly snakes on the trip home.

CT done this morning....now the waiting game until Tuesday. Tick tock, tick tock. Best cannulation nurse ever. Didn't feel a thing which is much preferable to the general digging and poking they have to do since chemo. On a plus note, my veins appear to be gushing again. Well, at least one anyhoo.

Got a call from the area manager and the practice (is that what they call it?) manager almost immediately after. I received the obligatory apology from the area manager but to be honest the practice manager seemed genuinely appalled. He was calling a staff meeting at lunch today and had my letter with him for all to view. He thanked me several times for bringing it to his attention, was receptive and empathetic to my explanation of how people feel in these situations and agreed it was a very poor performance. H e was most apologetic and advised that he will have more frequent staff meetings with "patient care" as a reminder each time. That's all I can ask I guess.

Afternoon lovelies. Thank you again for all your thoughts and good wishes. Without this forum I think we would all be a babbling mess.I have been ultra sounded to the eyeballs again today by two sonographers and the doctor herself. Yay for the excellent team at I-Med who did not keep me waiting and talked to me the whole way through about their thoughts. This makes such a huge difference.The consensus appears to be that they are "reasonably" sure the MRI has picked up scar tissue and surgical changes. My new surgeon (the old one is on long service leave) will have to give the all clear on Tuesday. I am taking this as all positive right now. I have chosen the new surgeon as she is one of the few who will come out of theatre and up to the ward to check on her patients personally. And it's nice to have another girl on the team.As to the wall. (goodness that felt good). Well, I have to finish that now (and go to the dump).So woo hoo. Cheers ladies. It's wine o"clock.

How beautiful is it that if we know someone is going through something tough, even though we don't actually know them in the real world, they are in our thoughts until they get through the fog. It's a kind of connection that no one else can understand.

So much for good vibes. Scan day sucked . They've called me back.

207 Replies

arpie
Member
7 years ago
Gees, @kezmusc Double fuck! As @Kmakm says - they have to be meticulous! I hope you CAN get some sleep tonight .... maybe get a dvd out & just watch it right thru til your eyelids are drooping - and you HAVE to go to bed & sleep.

ALL my Fingers are crossed for tomorrow ..... pull your Big Girls Pants on in the morning & Stride in there .....

We're all on your side xxxx Take care xxxxx
kmakm
Member
7 years ago
Shit.

There's nothing I can say that you haven't said to me, and many others here. And as the others have said, it could be nothing, they have to be meticulous.

Get through tonight as best as you can. And then get through tomorrow as best as you can. I'm crossing all my bits for you, thinking of you. With you in spirit friend. Kate xox
Annie_C
Member
7 years ago
@kezmusc
Oh dear. I am sending you big hugs and even bigger Kimberley wishes along with the Kimberley crows word fàaaaaaaaaaaark.
My go to comfort "food" is a good bottle of red and chocolates. I will be having some for you tonight.
Will be thinking of you tomorrow. Big prayers will be "stormin" for you.
Lots of love
Annie
Kiwi_Angel
Member
7 years ago
@kezmusc fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Have a bottle of red and a pack of cigarettes. We are all here for u and I’m sending u the hugest virtual hugs that I can. Everything I can cross is crossed for u xoxoxoox
Sister
Member
7 years ago
Fuck! To repeat what has already been said, do whatever gets you through tonight. I wish I could be there to help. It still could be nothing, though - they have to be thorough. Have you got someone to drive you - the last thing you want is an accident on the way.
SoldierCrab
Member
7 years ago
oh Kezmusc what a shit of a day for you .... girl
wish I could wave my wand and make it disappear...
but it could be something scar tissue etc that they are unsure of best to be safe I say.... I know nothing will keep you relaxed tonight but like zoffiel says if you need and wine or ciggie tonight have it girl hell this roller coaster is a shit ride.....
Zoffiel
Member
7 years ago
Oh shitbags @kezmusc Fuck it, indeed. I wish there was something useful to say. There isn't of course. I can only hope it is all a storm in a teacup, or what ever cup is appropriate. Now is not the time to give up wine and cigarettes--if you are partial to either or both. Marg xxx

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So much for good vibes. Scan day sucked . They've called me back.

207 Replies

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