Second time around

Welcome to this network- we all support each other here.Honestly,your story is almost the same as mine.I found a lump in 2003,which turned out to be cancer- no family history,didn't smoke or drink,healthy lifestyle,breast fed 2 babies etc.I was 47 and had a lumpectomy,full node clearance followed by radiation. Started Tamoxifen- didn't agree with me so tried others.After 6 miserable months,just gave up.I was fine for 7 years and then cancer came back in the same breast (2010)so had a mastectomy,followed by chemo and then Tamoxifen again.A year before this last bout of cancer,I had broken my ankle and had 3 surgeries on it.So I couldn't face recon after a mastectomy.Like you,I'm a nurse and was working part time in the same job for 16 years.After being back at work for a year,something snapped and I wanted to leave.I also sold our home of 23 years and downsized to a single level home.That was in August 2011-I was 56 yrs old.I have completely changed my life and I have no regrets.I understand about the clothes thing- am always "doctoring"necklines. I understand about losing confidence/socializing.It took me about 18 months or so to get that back.I keep my nurse's registration up as I'm not quite ready to fully let go.I've redirected those skills into facilitating a breast cancer support group in my area and being a community liaison for BCNA.I also go to an art therapy group which is a wonderful creative outlet for me. I also care for my mum who has liver cancer so in hindsight,it was just as well I made those changes. Sometimes we need to take stock of our lives and work out what we need to change.Perhaps making small changes as Deanne suggested,is a start. Blog back here cos we understand how you feel.Big hug, Tonya xx