Ruminations

Only 15 days to my lumpectomy. Not long. I'll be glad when it is over but having read many blogs online it seems that it is rare that the margin taken around of tissue removed is clear of pre cancer cells! Which means a second (or third) operation to remove further tissue.

This is when things get nasty ... if you have small breasts then it may mean a total mastectomy as further removal of tissue could ruin the look of the breast. It seems a very hard decision to make, if this happens to me! Yes, my cells are pre-cancerous but they are showing signs of comedo necrosis (thus radiotherapy) which means they could turn into aggressive cancerous blighters especially if they break out of the milk duct.

The surgeon said they could be left where they are for years and nothing may happen but if they did break out the cancer could spread very quickly to my lymph nodes. Thinking about it, I can't afford to take the risk with the comedo necrosis already present in the cells. My husband Terry says I shouldn't think about it and to take one step of the time. My view is I should be prepared for what "might" happen. 

I've also been thinking about getting my bone density measured before radiotherapy and during radiotherapy as I understand radiotherapy can have an untoward affect on ones bones. It seems that tennis and basketball have the best effect on bone density. Lifting weights has an intermediate effect which I find strange (perhaps they don't have the Venus workouts) and walking comes at the lower end. Again I wonder if walking at speed and at incline would increase the effect on bone density? 

Of course all this means that I will/should be eating a calcium enriched diet. Something else to get my head around - high in protein and especially high in calcium. I'm not keen on taking calcium tablets (think I read somewhere that they were not as good as getting calcium from natural sources). I'm lucky that I have an excellent diet thanks to Venus and have been eating a good diet for the past year.

I said to my husband the other day, that a day or two before the operation I'd like him to take some good photos of myself and my upper body which includes my breasts (thank goodness for digital cameras) with and without a bra. Partly for comparison after the lumpectomy and radiation (radiotherapy has a tendency to shrink the breast) and well just for the record. I mean, nearly a year ago they were huge and elongated and they drooped literally to my navel but now, oh now I am so proud of them. They are rounded and small and sit nicely on my chest with a little droop (having been obese in the past and now in my 60's it is to be expected). All those Venus shoulder and back exercises have made a definite difference to how they hang. It is probably what upsets me the most ... not the fact that I have cancer of the breast (even though it is pre cancerous, it is still cancer - I'm still trying to figure this out) or the fact that my breast may change by becoming harder and smaller but more the fact that I have worked so hard to get them looking good and now they look good ... well you get my drift.

Well whatever happens I look on the bright side - partial breast reconstruction is a definite consideration. I have that loose fatty flap of skin below my stomach - perhaps the fat from that can be used (  ) as for my buttocks and thighs - well not much fat to use in these areas nowadays I am afraid, so may be I'll get that flat stomach I've always wanted  But then again, if the margins of the tissue removed are clear and the incision small my futuristic ruminations will be a thing of the past (except for the radiation which cannot apparently be avoided) ...

Onwards we march (always with the Venus workouts of course). Those pre cancerous little blighters are definitely going to get what's coming to them that's for sure!!!