Really feel upset; need to talk to someone

Hey Joy, i have been reading your blog and boy i have been at the tissues as it all rang soooo many bells for me. all the tears the uncertainty, and people avoiding me. my childrens reactions. my three sons were all different , my eldest a navy man was very offical and said we are sure you will come through this and we know you are strong . my youngest said oh gee well your a tough old girl you'll be fine. 

and my middle son who is always quiet cried on the phone with me and just kept saying no mum oh god no, my step children all were upset . but the main person that went to hell and back with me was my husband. and i just last weekend reached the four year since diagnosis mark and we still get upset at times things trigger memories good and bad. i think alot is like with my eldest son if he treats it like work he stays in control if he gives in he wouldnt cope. my youngest i felt just went into denial he thinks i will be here forever. and my middle boy understood and went through it all with us all the tears /  pain / going bald / almost dying /everything. 

i guess it's their coping mechanisims. i soon learnt who my friends were ones that i thought were really close wiped me and just aquaintance one's were great. 

yes like Sams husband mine to became the door and phone bitch. love that hee hee. he hates answering machines but we got one to screen calls.

i hope all goes well for you and like we have all said cry if you need too it's a normal reaction to an awful situation. . the journey is rough but you can do it . look at me.