Post Op Mania

You know what Adean?  I believe it is because, as women and mothers, we feel the need to be strong and to shield and protect the ones we love.  Trust me, my husband has since come to realise I am very frightened and very vulnerable and I believe he will never do that again.   I can blame myself somewhat because I displayed such a positive upbeat attitude as I truly believe that is what will get me through this and help beat the cancer.  I don't want to have to act helpless, vulnerable and needy to get the right support.  But, trust me, from now on I will be verbalising exactly what I need and want and expect.  You are so right.  At this time in our life with what we are all facing we need strength around us - not weakness.  I have never been able to meditate but when I was in radiology having my hook wire inserted and they couldn't get it right I was so distressed (internally) that I actually mentally took myself out of the room.  I was on Whitehaven Beach in the Whitsundays - it was a beautiful day - and I was sipping wine from a glass - it was beautiful.  I could not feel or see what they were doing to me anymore.  It was extraordinary.  Never happened before and I could probably never replicate it.   From what I have read many women get bc back and beat it very successfully.  They say we need to keep as stress free as possible (quite an oxy moron don't you think?).  Well Adean.  Love to you too honey - I'm alright - just a bit of a woosy girl at the moment.  Talk to me anytime.  Hugs and kisses to you.  Suziexx