Post Op Mania

He never goes to the pub - that's why I thought he must have been in an accident.  You are absolutely right - had I known where he was and how long he would be there would not have been a problem - I would still not have been happy but I would not have been so frightened and would not have turned manic. Because I "lost it" I am made feel like the "bad guy".  Really,  I feel sorry for him having to go through this but I am the one with the cancer.  He has had a cold and bad cough with chest infection for the past 3 weeks (ever since I was diaganosed!) and now he thinks he has lung cancer!  Give me a break!  I can't even have cancer on my own.  He is more depressed than I am.  I am going to have to go food shopping tomorrow and start cooking for myself again because all I am getting is junk food chips and chocolate.  Radiology was terrible, but mainly because they could not locate the sentinal node and the young person doing the mapping was quite annoyed about it which made me feel like shit.  Then, of course, they couldn't get the hook wire in the right place.  I thought I was going to pass out.  Anyway, that is all behind me.  I had an emotionally indulgent day today and I know I will be much better and stronger tomorrow.  I am not usually one to mope around and feel sorry for myself.  I have to get out of this house.  Mainly, because I have so many delivered flower arrangements around the place it resembles a funeral parlour.  I have put the main offending displays out on the back verhandah.  It has taught me one thing - never send arrangements - send bunches!  I promise I won't go driving around at night again.  I knew I was being totally unreasonable but I couldn't stop myself - talk about being out of control!  Got to go.  Craig has just bought home chinese again!  Suziexx