Post op appointment

So on Friday I had my post op appointment after having my lumpectomy a couple of weeks ago. When I was first diagnosed and first spoke to my surgeon I was still pretty much in shock from the discovery that my own body had let me down. I hadn't considered that I could ever have a life threatening illness, my life was going along just fine thank you! Well that will teach me! The arrogance of youth ( or in my case middle age). At that first appointment I listened to what the surgeon was saying but don't think I really took it all in, or maybe I was just cherry picking certain things. " I can fit you in for an op in 3days but it will be a mastectomy , unless we try neo adjuvant treatment to shrink it first" ....ok let's do that and I will have a lumpectomy." Most people are sick on chemo but not all" ...ok I've decided I'm not going to e sick" It's almost certain you will lose your hair" ....ok, fine I will, shave it off on my terms before the chemo takes over. " You'll feel fatigued and will be more susceptible to infection" ....fatigue I can handle but I'm not going to be ill. " The chemo can possibly make the cancer disappear completely or shrink it" ....mine is going to go completely. " if it affects the tumour it can make it shrink concentrically, or it can scatter shot it" ....ok I'm going to have nice concentric shrinking all nice and neat, if it doesn't go completely. And that as far as I was concerned was how it was going to be, I'm incredibly stubborn and strong willed. I'm also incredibly dumb! As it turns out I did not have sickness during chemo, I did shave my head, other than a bit of fatigue, an eye infection and bit of a cold I kept pretty well. Though I think all that was more to do with being a good girl, taking my tablets and towards the end getting injections to boost white blood cells. Now at this appointment I was about to find out the big answers! Had my cancer gone completely, had it shrunk and if so, how? I knew that it had certainly changed, my oncologist, surgeon and myself could no longer feel any lump. I knew from the MRI taken just before surgery that it looked flat. Sitting in the surgeons office he he drew a wee diagram, the cancer had scatter shot, which wasn't what I'd wanted. He went on to say he'd taken out a few different pieces as well as the main area, he was happy with all but one bit which only had a 1mm clearance, however he didn't feel another op was warranted and that the radiation should mop up anything left over. The boobie itself is healing up ok and I just have to be patient and wait for swelling to subside but it could take up to 6 weeks. I informed him that I'd been a bit disappointed that I wasn't back to normal after a few days, as I'd had it in my head that I would have the op and during my week off sick would be well enough by the end of that week to maybe do a bit of painting ( see I told you I was pretty dumb!). He just looked at me and sort of shook his head!