Phyllodes Tumor - Anyone else out there?

Hi everyone, can you please give me some advice? I had a 5cm borderline phyllodes removed from my 12D breast., had to go back for clear margin 2 weeks later. The report came back that their was 10mm of tumor still in it but there was a 3mm clear margin. My surgeon said to have a mammogram in 1 year and come back to see him. My original mammogram and ultrasound for this tumor didn't show this phyllodes up. They bent two needles and couldn't puncture it when I had a core biopsy. I went home after being told it was just fiberous. Two months later my nipple completely inverted so I went back to the doctors who told me it was a dimple, not to worry. I'm 54 and have never had an.inverted nipple before. How can't I ever trust a mammogram again? If I had not insisted on going back to the sugeon I would still have this tumor in my breast. After my diagnosis and surgeries I still wasnt happy so I went to see an oncologist who told me he had just looked phyllodes in his boo and its not cancer so I should go home and not worry about it as the margin was clear. From all I've read (which is a lot) 3mm margin is not enough.Its only 1/3 of what it should be. I feel like I have a time bomb strapped to my chest. The doctor, surgeon and oncologist act like its just a boil I've had removed. What should I do? Should I take their advice? I'm very scared and can't sleep much. My family don't understand. I want this thread removed completely so I can't get on with my life. I don't want more bits chopped off me over the years, constant mamograms and living my life looking over my shoulder. I would only have radiotherapy if my life depended on it. No offence to others whole are, I'm just terrified of radiation.