Pain free life when?

Thanks Julie, I am allergic to Tramadol and abusive, unavailable people. I have an endless source of love to tap into which sees me through the aloneness. We just don't know what the future holds, do we? Throwing my pearls before the swine is a repeated character flaw and I just am unable to find the people who will respect my trusting and accepting them unconditionally. People have seen me as gullible, lost and vulnerable, in the past. I see myself as being kind, compassionate, respectful and supportive. I over relate and give without receiving anything in return. This is why I am so angry with this man. I volunteered for 6 months in the garbage truck, nights, to support him. He just doesn't know how to give me the same support in return. He can't reciprocate. I judge him because when we marry, we judge all other potential partners as excluded and unworthy of our love. He married, excluding me, telling me I am unworthy of his love. He then tells me it's god's will and my samskaras and karma keeping me alone, without my twin flame. He just keeps on manipulating my kindness, so he has been shafted. I feel much better now as I have slept and the pain has become almost nothing. Just needed to express myself. Thanks for replying.:)