Hi - goodness you have so much to deal with at present. As to friends, we've all experienced their well meaning comments and they just don't realise; this is not a competition; none of us want to have our condition played off against someone else.
Writing your thoughts down helps to understand where you are at. Do you have a breast care nurse who maybe able to guide you along and or a counsellor? At diagnosis I saw a counsellor and she had said to me whenever you start to feel overwhelmed take a deep breath and pat one leg saying yes this is my leg and it is still there and then the other leg. It helps to calm you down and brings you into now as your focus has come back to the now.
Take care
Christine xx