@LMK74 It is a hard time when it's anniversaries or birthdays. I put up a pic of mum and some flowers on the day and upset the family who referred to it as a 'shrine'. I had no idea it would upsetting. So now I do it in my flat upstairs. Not to be maudlin but I'm the collector and keeper of three grandparents' ashes and my mums! Nobody will come together and have a conversation about making a decision about where to scatter them - my psychologist gets a good laugh from our sessions! It is tricky dealing with disfunction and your own cancer related problems. I've just been talking to my dad re when I'm having new surgery. But maybe I shouldn't? He seems to be taking it in his stride but he is 77. My sister and niece are here but have their own issues and I think it's best not to talk about it unless invited, and even then it can come back and bite me. Good friends have been checking in with me but as @Zoffiel says, I don't want to overload them with me. Thank goodness for being here online and having the good few friends and psych! They do tend to normalise things for me, especially with our disfunctional family dynamics! I'm sorry your brother is being a pain ... does he live with you? It's hard when you share space. I'm trying to do as psych says and keep being kind, be the best person I can be and not buy into petty stuff because I can't win whatever I do. Even though the psych can't fix the problem, at least it's good to have a sound board and someone in your corner. xx
