Not sure what I'm meant to be feeling

Hi, I think many of us feel like this. I've had surgery, chemo and now underway with radio....and I don't know how to feel about it all. I often feel nothing or numb. I feel like I don't show much emotion - just nothing. I'm not sure what will happen at the end of radio....as it is hard to imagine what to do next next. For me its been 6 months of overwhelming focus on all of this...so it is hard to imagine what I do when at least this part of the treatment is all over.

And as you mentioned, many don't know what you are going through. I feel its made me a more understanding person though...as I often people watch and wonder who else is walking around with BC or some other chronic disease that you just can't tell. It reminds me to be a bit more understanding of others....as you can't tell what is going on inside. 

Anyway, not sure if my advice will help but just wanted to say that I think there would be many of us who have that 'numb'/'nothing' feeling. Having done 15 or so radio sessions I also find myself lying there each day having that 'nothing' feeling. If you can, maybe try to do something nice for yourself after each radio session - even if it is just buy yourself a coffee...something that is a little reward for getting through each session. I feel like it is dragging on and if you are like me and have to go every day....it feels a bit mundane.

Good luck with the radio sessions ahead.