Nervous times...

You are just a little way ahead of me.  I see my medical oncologist on 25th Jan and the radiation oncologist on 20 and 2st January.  I have been diagnosed with secondaries in my lymph nodes.  I was diagnosed on 20-12-10 after surgery on 14-12.  Yes it is very scary.  My intuition told me that this was not BC again so I had it in my mind that all was well.  So at diagnosis I pretty well wanted to crack.  I didn't because my husband finds it very hard to deal with.  What made it worse was that my surgeon was very upset - I have been seeing him for 3years post first surgery (previous surgeon retired) and we have formed a good bond.  Then to make it worse I rang the pathologist to clarify some things and she said "I'm so sorry!!!!"  Holly hell was I ready for the scrap heap?  Anyway this made me hasten the body scan and bone scan as I wanted some good news to tide me over Xmas.  The body scan came back good before Xmas and the bone scan came back the same after Xmas.  What a relief for all my family and husband.  I am not so sure to celebrate too soon though as I have been quite ill with some flu every since.  I will stay positive but deep down inside there is pure ?????.  I had radiation therapy last time and have been on Tamoxifen  for 4 years.  I am now on Arimidex even though I still haven't gone through menopause - who knows could have but not by tests.  As I didn't have chemo last time this is unknown territory and I will be petrified having the first shot as I hate being sick.  I have had too much sickness in my life already.  Anyway we do have to go with it .....and in doing so enjoy what we have and look forward to the end of treatment.XLeonie