I was chatting to another fellow breast cancer survivor yesterday, following a 9km fundraiser walk we participated in. Her & I both were diagnosed at similar time & finished chemo within a few weeks of each other. I don't know her that well but decided to say hi & talk about my favorite topic...curly chemo hair! Anyway, I walked off agitated & annoyed wondering why I bothered! ( The previous only other time I had spoken to her was at a Look good, feel better session we attended...and she irritated me then too! Very self focused & only wanting to tell her story, not listen to others!) Anyway, the comment that annoyed me was she asked if my BC was triple negative....I said no, hormone positive, to which she replied, oh, well I have the really nasty bc.....how should I have answered this? Should I have said, oh...that's terrible for you....I should be so thankful I only had mild BC??? I've always thought any form of BC made us all united, regardless of the type....but it seems some people want to make a competition of whose is worse! Any cancer is nasty....that was my response....I'm either too touchy atm or maybe insensitive - but it really annoyed me! (Just getting it off my chest! No pun intended...x)

I have a 'friend' who has just received her second triple negative diagnosis.She is doing fine,but I feel,when I am with her,that my cancer is not worth talking about! I know exactly how you feel,but I just think to myself,I am proud of my strength through this!!!like you,I wonder is it me? Am I being a b@#¥? Am I reading too much into this? But no I'm not!!Stay strong Jen,and surround yourself with the people that matter the most.I guess through this experience,we come across many people that we otherwise would not have crossed paths with.Some we feel fortunate to have met,and some we wish would just disappear!! Lol .Take it easy Jen and stay on here:) Cheers xox Robyn

Hi...... Some people does this way. I had a friend she was suffering from BC 10 years ago and she's fine. However, she's a kind of "compete" she survived the best, she's been treated the best, she's the most mild, and she's the tougest..... she is whatever, to "win" it. It made me angry though when to a cricital issue, she was 10 years ago, and now many things have changed and upgraded. She still want to be the "winner" Some people does that, anyway, I still thanks to her when sharing the same topic with me, that might some "ordinary" people might not understand. But it's funny.....and (childish) Take care Rosanna

Hi Jen Maybe having the 'nasty' cancer made her a nasty person. Ha ha. You would think that going through this would help most people to be more empathetic but I guess some were self-centered before hand and just continue to be so. As Robyn says there are many people who we come into contact with as a result of BC (like all of you wonderful ladies) that we feel very fortunate to have 'met' and in the mix are unfortunately a few who we could have done without! The challenge of cancer can bring out your true colours that's for sure. Keep in touch. Deanne xxx

I have had triple negative breast cancer and a recurrance so yes I guess I had it twice! In my opinion we are all united in this battle that we have been thrown into without us asking for it. When I was told about my diagnosis my Dr didnt make to big a deal about the triple negative thing. He just stated what I had and how we were going to treat it. At the time I didn't quite get how aggressive my cancer was. I guess i am lucky (if you call getting BC twice lucky) that both times I found my lumps early. I am also lucky my Dr didn't make too big a deal ablut the type of diagnosis I had. He just told me the facts and we got on with things. I have made some lovely "cancer buddies" as my friend likes to call them along the way. We all had different diagnosis's but that has never been an issue with any of us. Recently I sadly lost two of those beautiful ladies to this awful disease. One had triple negative and the other didn't. My only thoughts are how sad it was to lose them both not which cancer had caused their illness. The lady you are talking about is probably one of those annoying people in life who makes everything about themself. If you had met her pre cancer for both of you, she would probably have annoyed you then too!!! I wish you every happiness. You are looking fantastic and good on you for doing the walk too :) Paula xx

Nasty cancer....sigh! | BCNA Online Network

Hazel_M
Member
11 years ago
Hope you are going well:) My partner and I have come through ok, spending 24/7 together tested us and we actually ended up stronger. He is on a lot of medication for his myopathy and has learnt his limits and I am now back at work and loving it. Even got a promotion, supervisor! Very odd, I worried if I would be up to doing the work, not a problem there, but I have had some issues with colleagues (mainly immature boys) not welcoming me back with open arms. Too bad, they have to suck it up and move on. With everything I have been through this is only a speedbump. You are looking great in your photo by the way, all the best,

Hazel xx
mum2jj
Member
11 years ago
Yes I'm doing really well. I am 10 months post recon and getting ready for final revision and nipples next year. Paula :)
jenpen
Member
11 years ago
Hope all is going good for you and your partnet Hazel?

Have been off here and not quite up to date yet......and you are right - who wants to win this competition anyway? Lotto jackpot would be my preferred choice...hee hee!

Take care...Jenny x
jenpen
Member
11 years ago
Hope all is going good for you and your partnet Hazel?

Have been off here and not quite up to date yet......and you are right - who wants to win this competition anyway? Lotto jackpot would be my preferred choice...hee hee!

Take care...Jenny x
jenpen
Member
11 years ago
You are right.....we are all different and handle things differently too. Thank goodness we do have the wonderful support via this forum - it certainly was so important for me at the start of my bc odyssey to find like-minded people feeling the same fears and uncertainties etc. and continues to be a great source of support!

Take care....Jenny x
jenpen
Member
11 years ago
Oh thanks Paula....feeling pretty good too!

Definitely we are all united because of hearing we have breast cancer....despite which type etc. One of my friends had DCIS, lump removed and no chemo or radiation - the fear of what might have been is still a fact for her - as it is for all of us dealt this diagnosis.

Hope all is going great for you Paula...I'm yet to read all the posts I missed during my "cave woman" months!

Sending hugs your way...Jenny x
jenpen
Member
11 years ago
So right Deanne.....as if a cancer diagnosis isn't enough to contend with, we have to deal with all types of people and discover who are the ones we wish to interact with and the ones we don't!

So lucky to have this forum...and glad to be back after my few months break!

Hope all is going great for you - and that annoying lymphodema arm! Jenny x
jenpen
Member
11 years ago
Thanks Rosanna

Yes, some people just need to be the winner all the time hey? Lucky we have this forum to be able to share our good and bad experiences to like-minded people that understand!

Sending hugs your way...Jenny x
jenpen
Member
11 years ago
Oh...thanks Robyn! Glad I'm not the only one.....but defo so great to be able to offload the negative feelings and move forward with the "positive" people in our lives!

Hope all is going well for you.....it's actually great to be back after my "cave" time! hee hee....

Bug hug...Jen x
Hazel_M
Member
11 years ago
Wow, if it is a competition, none of us really want to compete in it. We are all united and most of us support each other, that's all there is to it:) I think the lady must of been a bit nasty before she got the 'nasty cancer'. Love the 'pun', all the best,

Hazel xx

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