my relationship with my daughter

Hi Anita, Jess from BCNA here ~ I just wanted to jump in to say hello and that Its sounds like its been a bit of a tough time for both you and your family.

I wanted to let you know that there are some really good support services available to both you and your daughter. As Tracey mentioned, Cancer Council have a confidential telephone information and support line on 13 11 20 and anyone can call including family and friends. 

Also, Canteen also offer some information and support services for young people who have a parent diagnosed with cancer. If you did want to find out a little bit more about it, you can find all the information on the Canteen website.

If you need any help with getting in touch with the services, please just let me know :-)

Jess x

Hi Anita. You need to be strong and have a word with your mil or get hubbie to do it. Maybe your daughter is staying away as your mil told her to. Remember that the best thing for Angelina is to have her mum around.

Let her know that there are days that mum wont feel well but that having her around you makes you feel so much better. Be honest with her as she is old enough to understand what is going on. My daughter who is around the same age as Angelina went through a rebellious stage to see what she could get away with.

I would also recommend a chat to her teachers to see how she is coping in school to find out if there is any behaviour you shiuld be concerned about.

If you are still concerned i would also recommend counselling. 

Be strong and keep smiling

Maryrose 

Oh Anita your daughter loves you, think about how scared you are and how scared she must be. Good advice to ring cancer council. I know my kids struggled with me being sick and they are young adults. It is a shame your MIL isn't more supportive. Give her lots of cuddles and hopefully when your cousin comes you can have some more time together. Sending you a hugxx

Hi Anita, 

YOU are the best Mum in the world for your Angelena and bc can't change that. You can't change your MIL but there is help available for you and your daughter. The Cancer Council has counsellors available to help families work their way through this challenging time. Planning fun girlie time with your daughter & cousin is a great idea, Angelena still needs to enjoy her mummy. Perhaps chatting to a trained counsellor might help your daughter to talk through not only her fears for you, but how confusing are all the changes in your lives at the moment. And hey! What's wrong with cuddling up with your Mum when you're scared and confused!!! Don't let someone else tell you how to parent your child, Angelena clearly loves you, that means you are doing a good job as Mum. 

Sending you hugs & blessings, Tracey 

Hi Anita, I think that Pink said it all, that was really sound advice. At a time when you should be concentrating on your treatment and recovery some unfair issues are right in your face. Have you tried to discuss this quietly with your husband? He may not realise how you are thinking and feeling and may be able to support you in some way. I feel for you and send you a big cuddle, ps hope the concert is lovely for you, Trace ??????

Hi Anita, I can only imagine the stress you are facing right now..  Chemo is not the best 'mate' in any dictionary I have seen..  It is so unfortunate that your MIL is playing games like this and it is possibly something you have been able to brush off in the past but not while undergoing treatment.  As your daughter is only 9 it will be a huge change for her too and it could be as simple as Mummy is sick and I dont want to bother her or possibly she does not know how to approach you.  When I went through my EBC my son was 10 and really did not spend much time around me at all (less than normal) and did not ask me to help him hardly at all (he is an only child and it was really hard for me not to have him hanging about). He understood it but at the same time did not understand much at all. We tried to keep him busy and dropped some questions just to check how he was traveling. By the end of treatment he was really really tired and we ended up sending him up to Qld for a beach holiday to make him feel better.

I am hoping that everything you are seeing is just intensified by the treatment, hair loss and even just the changes you have undergone and as treatment ends things will settle down..  I am hoping that your cousin arriving helps out and that the concert is awesome (it may help to show your daughter that even though you are sick right now that you are still there for her). 

Sending huge turtle hugs and hope very very soon you will see that things return to normal and your private time returns and brings you much joy.

hugs Sharon (pink66)