Welcome to this network although I am very sorry that you are facing this situation.
I feel very sorry for all the women who are challenged with this dilemma. My cancer, while a Grade 2 IDC, had already spread to 5 lymph nodes so Chemo was a given not really a choice (although we always have the right to make our own choices).
My oncologist did however (when I asked) give me the statistics to indicate the possible benefit of each of the recommended treatments, chemo being one of these. This helped me to get through the treatments as I knew that they were giving me a much better chance of not having a recurrence.
There are no guarantees with any of the treatment, no one is given a 100% chance of never getting it again but the statistics can help you to understand if certain treatments will make a significant difference for you. What is a significant difference? That can only be decided by you. Having had chemo (FEC and Docetaxel) I can tell you that it is very tough but doable. It is 4 months since I finished chemo and I feel great now, but I work hard at keeping healthy with diet and exercise too.
Good luck with your decision. Whatever you decide, know that it was the right decision given all facts and advice from your doctors. Take care. Deanne xx