Missing in action so time to update.

I've been a bit quite on here of late (okay well i've been very quiet lol)  After my hair loss, I had a really tough time with depression and anxiety about upsetting the family with how I looked. Even though I was told I had a lovely shaped head, I couldnt look at myself in the mirror, and found myself hiding from going out, the neighbours (I live on 5 acres so I literally could hide) and I just couldnt adjust. I had a good talk to the social worker at my third chemo treatment and she helped me realise a few things, that I couldnt control a lot of things and I needed to stop focussing so far ahead. Man those social workers are worth their weight in gold. (which reminds me I need to pop in and see her again soon)

Then, two weeks into my third cycle and gearing up for the last of the A&C I was suddenly recalled to the ED by the doctor who inserted my portacath due to an "issue" with it that showed up on the original scans 3 months prior when it was first installed. Apparently a guide wire that should have been removed during the initial procedure had been left in and needed to be removed ASAP, in Brisbane and I was to be either choppered out, or by Royal flying doctors service the next morning. Had to be done in Brisbane because they were better equipped if something went wrong through the procedure. VERY long story short with lots of delays and miscommunication, it was finally removed 36 hours later, I suffered a femoral vein bleed that night, but managed to get home on the Saturday, in time for chemo on the following Wednesday. So due to all the fuss of the trip, procedure (which thankfully was made less complicated by the fact I didnt need a contrast dye that I have an anaphylaxic reaction to) the next cycle took a hell of a lot longer to get through, more tears, more depression, longer sick, but I finally came good enough mentally ready to face the last four treatments of docetaxel.

And then i had an issue after that. I have always had a sensitivity to codeine. So I wanted to manage the bone and muscle pain with paracetamol where I could. But on Saturday night (so the 3rd day from chemo) I wasnt coping as I'd liked and I took 2 panadeine forte. Got up to the loo at 1am, Next thing I know, I'm on the floor semi conscious and my hubby is covering me with blankets and telling me the ambulance was on the way. My blood pressure had plummeted and it looks like the codeine contributed. So I spent the rest of the night in the hospital, till everything stabilised and my blood pressure settled that I could stand without getting dizzy.

Now I started this a couple of hours ago, and thought I'd be finishing it there. Well I got a phone call about 4.30 from the hospital to say that some of my blood cultures from Sundays episode have come back not normal, so instead of posting this at 5pm this arvo, I'm posting at 8pm after spending a couple of hours at the hospital redoing bloods, xray and urine tests. Because of the recent retrieval of the misguided guide wire, they also took bloods from the port a cath to make sure that wasnt the source of the blood infection... sigh. So no I wait for a call from the hospital tonight to hopefully rule everything out and it was just a cross contamination at the blood collection or the like. 

So I'm not trying to scare any new members here to the forum, but I do have this for you all, please don't try and control this journey, there are just too many variances that can occur that we simply cant control. Try to learn to be flexible. Talk to your doctors and never be afraid to ask questions. It's their responsibility to make sure you stay well as much as it is yours.