Hi,
You sound like you have been to hell and back. Hearing your story, I will pull my head in and put up with the nausea. No head down the toilet for me, thank goodness. Although my oncologist is adding valium to my mix hoping that will dull the brain and trick it so it won't think of the nausea. This will be very interesting as my brain has been very dull since the breast cancer diagnosis.
I hear what you are saying about painful veins. My oncologist offered to put me in hospital for fluids and all I could think of was 'NEEDLE' and how finding a vein is going to be painful, so I declined the offer. I will put my hand up, I'm a baby and I'm allowed to be.... What a journey, but it's amazing how we all look for positives.