Meeting the oncologist

Wednesday May 28

I am recovering well from my operation and am starting to get ready for the next stage of my treatment – six months of chemotherapy.

As usual I am trying to be optimistic as possible about it all but readily admit I am more than a little scared.

I was going to try and write a humorous update but think for my own sake  I will instead just be as honest as I can.

Yesterday I went to meet with my oncologist (certainly a phrase I would have hoped I never had to use) for the first time.

I went by myself as I thought I would be able to deal with it fairly well as I already had my pathology results and knew that I would be facing six months of chemotherapy followed by radiotherapy and then hormone therapy, but alas I was wrong.

It seems that even though I have had one breast removed, am still in pain from the operation, and am walking around with a ‘drain bag’, I am still largely living in denial about my current health status as I was totally overwhelmed by the whole experience and struggled to accept that it was actually happening to me (you know ‘Get me outta here I don’t belong here with all these other incredibly sick looking people, blah, blah, blah’).

I really was so naïve until the moment I walked into the oncologist’s office that I honestly thought that the only side-effects of chemotherapy that I would have to deal with were baldness, chronic fatigue, nausea and vomiting.

I will indeed go bald (the oncologist has assured me that my chemo mixture almost guarantees it) but it seems this could end up being the least of my worries as he kindly and patiently explained all the other possible side-effects of my ‘AC’ Treatment with Doxorubicin (A) and Cyclophosphamide (C).

Of course I don’t remember everything he warned me about but the following are a few of the possible side-effects that I don’t think I will ever forget.

• Leukaemia:  Yes Leukaemia is a possible “side-effect” of undergoing the chemotherapy treatment that I am about to endure. The Doctor assures me it is “extremely rare” but nonetheless it is not something I was ready to hear about.
• Permanent Heart Problems: I don’t really remember exactly what the odds are or exactly what the problems are but according to the information sheet the Doctor gave me if I develop “shortness of breath, an irregular heart beat or chest pain” I should go to the nearest hospital emergency department asap.
• Red/orange coloured urine: This is a harmless but a very interesting side effect for someone like me who ate a lot of beetroot as a child in an attempt to achieve the same result.
• Increased risk of infection: The Doctor told me that if my temperature ever got to 38 degrees I had to immediately get to the hospital where “we should be able to get you back to normal in about 48 hours”. The  information sheet was more succinct: Get to the hospital asap as “this is life threatening”.
• Nail damage: Apparently my nails might “grow more slowly, become darker, develop ridges or white lines and become brittle and flaky or even fall off completely”. I know this is not the end of the world but I was still shocked by the information sheet’s advice for dealing with this: “In some cased painting your nails with nail polish may help prevent your nails from falling off. Wear gloves when gardening.” This still makes me laugh. I mean wouldn’t it also be wise to wear gloves when washing the dishes or doing other such tasks or are my nails only likely to fall off when I’m gardening?

Anyhow after telling me about all the possible side effects (trust me there were many more than listed above but I am too lazy/tired to even bother going through them) the Doctor then told me about my chemotherapy regime.

The first three months will involve four 21-day cycles. This means that I will just go to the hospital for a couple of hours once every three weeks to get the  medicine via a drip in my vein and then go home to recover for a few days and then slowly return to “normal”.

Anyhow after three months of this “aggressive” treatment I will move on to 12 weeks of more gentle chemo once a week

I would like to say I coped well with my first oncology appointment but I obviously didn’t.

I went home and literally crashed emotionally but the good news is that I can see I am already beginning to bounce back as I realise that the chemotherapy will ultimately help save my life and the ‘side-effects’ aren’t that much different to the ones that are listed on packets of other medications (headache pills, contraceptives, sleeping pills, anti-depressants, etc) we all take at some time in our lives!