Oh @Silverlining I am so sorry to hear that. I totally get it. I'm having a sub-optimal time of it myself (in a different way, but also including infections and long trips into the City) and am also impossibly longing for life before my breast cancer, and before my sister's. Pointless, but when the treatment, recovery and side effects go on and on and on, it's hard not to get down and dream of a better time.
All I can do is hold on to the hope that things will get better as so many of the people here say they will. They all counsel patience, say we'll get there or at least get to a place where our minds won't be so occupied and our bodies adjust. Are you getting some counselling? I've had some and will be getting more. It's helpful. I found someone through my breastcare nurse.
Hang in there, and do stay in touch here if you feel you can. K xox