You are such a trooper. I didn't have any children and watching women deal with engorgment and other tender breastfeeding issues always bought tears to my eyes - it must be so painful. I am picturing you hugging your pillow at the squash game. I had to remind myself when I was out that maybe it wasn't OK to be massaging my chest constantly which I would do unconsciously. It's interesting to see what becomes your new normal isn't it. None of us ever imagine seromas, aspirations and clots would become part of routine conversation. May I ask - will you need any further surgeries (tissue expanders etc) or are you done with everything?