This is a really hard one. My experience may not help but .....I had a bad result from a cataract operation (the second, the first one was fine). When the patch came off I could see nothing - just a dark brown nothing. The anaesthetist had a problem, and I had a bleed. Short story, back into hospital
in two hours, fluid drained, wound lasered, all good apart from the oxygen bubble in my eye (took about two weeks to gradually vanish). I was angry. For days. Then suddenly I realised that I was fine, my eye was fine, no-one intended to harm me. The anaesthetist had actually rung me (didn’t quite apologise, but still...). And I literally felt a weight lift off my shoulders. You’re carrying the horrible thoughts, a weight on you. It’s worse for you as you are still coming to terms with your diagnosis, but there will be a chorus of people who’ve been through it saying ‘Be kind to
yourself’. Carrying anger and mistrust, even when justified, hurts only you. And you don’t need that. Your treatment will be back on track soon, seeing a psychologist or counsellor is an excellent idea (our brains get pretty roughed up by this stuff too) so see this as a rock on the road, but not a landslide. Very best wishes.
