It's like being back in the hellish reality after being told you have cancer. I am trying to pick myself up for the next surgery, but finding it really hard to switch off the really morbid thoughts. I am seeing a psychologist next week and I've also reached out to a counsellor but these horrible thoughts are not shifting. I don't know how to repair the trust. The surgeon and radiologist are blaming each other and I'm no clearer to what really happened. I don't even want to assign blame, I just want to make the right decision for the next step and it's so hard when I don't trust the health team anymore
