Oh Tracy, thank you sweet girl for your love and wise words. Those simple words 'battle weary" gosh that is just it! Exactly what I am. I am exhausted from battling. I have had good days too and I know we all get through eventually. I feel so bad for venting because I dont want someone whos journey is just starting to be fearful. Ive had many victorious moments along the way. Thank you for holding my hands up while I am weak. And yes, we will be here for you when you need someone to hold yours! It feels like a massive relieve when whe can just say these things out loud (although online). My daughter the other day said she was so glad my cancer is over and my heart sank because she doesn't get it. And I don't want to offload any more on her than she has to know. She is 18 and was so upset when she hear my BRCA2 gene gave her a 50% chance of having it too. Anyway , I dont want to start again. My children and their future is a whole other issue that I cant bare to face on top of this. I guess the saying, one day at a time, one foot in front of the other.... Hugs xxx