Just letting off a little steam

Thanks so much for that Louise. Based on what you have said I am going to ask for the tram flap where they take fat from your stomach as I have an abundance of that and I dont mind the pain for the realism. Thanks for taking the time to explain all that to me it certainly helps a lot;  Pursuing this course will be my next step. Take care and once again thanks for taking the time. XO Viv

Hi Viv

I have had two different types of reconstruction (because of two different diagnosis of BC and two mastectomies, 7 yrs apart!!).  You could say I've pretty much had it all (everything except Radiation therapy which I managed to avoid).

In 2003 I had a mastectomy but due to an allergic reaction I didn't have the reconstruction straight away - in fact, it was 5 months later. I had a TRAM flap reconstruction where they used my baby belly to reconstruct the breast - bonus!  It was basically like having a tummy tuck and then instead of throwing the tissue from that away, they use it to make a new boob, complete with its own blood supply which involves microsurgery.  It's not an easy op and takes a while to get over (I was in hospital for a week).  The most difficult thing after a tummy tuck is standing up straight!!  I am REALLY happy with the result though and feel that the pain was worth it :)  My new boob is nice and soft and because it is made from my tummy, if I lose or gain weight, the size of my boob also changes.

Last year I had another mastectomy and this time had an immediate reconstruction.  I had a latissimus dorsi reconstruction this time where they use a muscle in your back (the lat dorsi muscle) and swing it around under your arm to create a new "pocket" for your new boob.  A tissue expander was inserted behind this muscle and this is inflated over time to get to the correct size for you (I actually didn't need any expanding which was good).  In February this year I had the expander removed and a permanent prosthesis (silicon - but like an ipod case, not liquid) inserted in its place.  I found this type of reconstruction a lot easier than the TRAM flap one with a lot less pain and a lot easier movement BUT I am not really as happy with the result as it is a really hard breast!  It doesn't really feel normal to me and if I try to lie on my stomach it feels like I am lying on a rock.  The look of it is fine, just the feel isn't quite right.

With both reconstructions I also had my nipples reconstructed and then later tatooed.  The surgeon made new nipples from the skin on the new breasts.  They look great and really natural :)

If you've got any more questions, please ask but hopefully this helps a bit !

Louise x

Thanks so much Louise ( my middlle name by the way ). I am deffinitely looking at reconstrucion down the track. How have you found it and how soon after your mastectomy did you have it?I would valule your input please  Louise. Love and lots of big thanks and hugs oooo Viv

Oh how very true!! Most important of all a day with me in it!!

Thanks so much ladies your messages gives me hope. I'm in a bit of a slump at moment re-adjusting to the new me and your messages gives me that v important light at the end of the tunnel, so a big "Good on you girls" you are my inspiration from now on!!  I am looking at getting a proper bra and giving spongbob away in about 2 more weeks so am hoping that makes a difference.Love and admiration and thanks so much again for your feedback Viv

Hi Viv

Know exactly how you are feeling. I was a 36DD before my mastectomy, with time have adjusted with the help of a great prosthesis and some renewed self confidence. I have begun aquarobics classes with a swimming prosthesis in my swimsuit and no-one knows, actually I don't care and have changed in the open changing room not to shock any one but to just want to be how I was pre-surgery. I wore a snug t -shirt to do Mother's day classic it was more from carrying too much weight than wanting it to be tight but you can see the photo on my profile and I look "normal". I am the one in the hat.

I am off to Thailand next month for a holiday and have bought  a mastectomy bikini ( looks pretty good) and I fully intend to strut my 52 year old  body on Kata beach just hope I don't upset too many people - lol!! I think my belly might be the upsetting part and no-one will notice the uneven boobs!

You will get your life back to normal I have been where you are and am on the up and up. It is about you and sometimes a little bit of Me time makes all the difference.

Sarah x

It's very normal what you are feeling Viv.You haven't had a chance to really think about it untill now.The first thing is get rid of this cancer and now it's the aftermath.I'm in the one boob brigade and one year on,it's still hard to accept. Once you get fitted for a prothesis(wait 6wks)and proper bra it will make so much difference.It is very natural looking and no one can tell.I feel quite confident to wear snug t shirts.I had to go through my wardrobe and alter any low neckline tops.I sewed fake lace camis under them.Once I dress in the morning I forget about it for the day. However I don't like looking in the mirror nude-feel like the bride of Frankenstein! I don't like being nude in bed either and am only now feeling ok about hubby touching the one boob left.So I guess I still have a way to go. You and your husband are both going through big adjustments.It's HUGE losing your boob.It's an amputation,it's disfiguring so no need to feel self absorbed.Cry and wallow in it whenever you feel like it.It's the grieving process-you lost a special part of your body for goodness sake.

                                       Tonya xx

It's very normal what you are feeling Viv.You haven't had a chance to really think about it untill now.The first thing is get rid of this cancer and now it's the aftermath.I'm in the one boob brigade and one year on,it's still hard to accept. Once you get fitted for a prothesis(wait 6wks)and proper bra it will make so much difference.It is very natural looking and no one can tell.I feel quite confident to wear snug t shirts.I had to go through my wardrobe and alter any low neckline tops.I sewed fake lace camis under them.Once I dress in the morning I forget about it for the day. However I don't like looking in the mirror nude-feel like the bride of Frankenstein! I don't like being nude in bed either and am only now feeling ok about hubby touching the one boob left.So I guess I still have a way to go. You and your husband are both going through big adjustments.It's HUGE losing your boob.It's an amputation,it's disfiguring so no need to feel self absorbed.Cry and wallow in it whenever you feel like it.It's the grieving process-you lost a special part of your body for goodness sake.

                                       Tonya xx

So don't worry about the rest of the world. 

It is okay to cry and feel Sh.t, I still feel it some days.  Don't bet your self up for it.  We are all learning how to deal with our surprise emotions that shock us at times.  tomorrow might be a better day ...

Yes you can still were a T-shirt ... there are tricks.  I live on "Build-in Bra Tank Top" for years.  see (http://www.bcna.org.au/network/groups/10661/blog/11990)

Tomorrow is another day ... a day with you in it ...

So don't worry about the rest of the world. 

It is okay to cry and feel Sh.t, I still feel it some days.  Don't bet your self up for it.  We are all learning how to deal with our surprise emotions that shock us at times.  tomorrow might be a better day ...

Yes you can still were a T-shirt ... there are tricks.  I live on "Build-in Bra Tank Top" for years.  see (http://www.bcna.org.au/network/groups/10661/blog/11990)

Tomorrow is another day ... a day with you in it ...