I have been trying to look on the bright side ever since I was told my diagnosis. Some days I am better at it than others. Today I am not doing so well, so here comes a vent. I got a t-shirt from ebay today from my precancer days ( it was a bit late coming!!) It was of the style I used to wear. NO more!! I now have half a flat chest and when I wear spongebob (my falsey) It hurts my scar if the tshirts a littlle snug and anyway I dont have the confidence for snug t-shirts anymore. I cant get used to my flat chest. Ive never been thin and to my mind my bust kind of balanced it out. Now I dont even have that. My partner has been amazing through all this but somedays I just dont feel attractive anymore and most days I feel like I should feel good. I tell myself " You just got good news for goodness sake, so cheer up". I guess I am still reeling from it all. I want my life back to normal but it will never be what it was as I still have to deal with the consequences of all that has happened. How selfish I feel at the moment!! There are women out there going through chemo and here I am wingeing about my lot. I seem to be stuck in me me me mode. There is a whole world going on out there and I can't seem to see it at the moment. Sorry for the massive winge I promise my next blog will be much more uplifting. xxxo

Hi hippyliv Please dont apologise!!!! Venting is good!! Somedays I think it just hits us and we have to go with that and then deep breath and swim again!! I was diagnosed with bc 25 March at the ripe old age of 41. It doesnt matter what your diagnosis or prognosis you are still on the road!! I too have tried to be as positive as possible but somedays reality bites. I can imagine how the arrival of your tshirt set you off. It just confronts you by what your going through. It happens at the most unexpected times - I was having coffee with a friend a few weeks back - feeling pretty positive I have to say and then a lady walked into the coffee shop wearing a headscarf and I found myself in tears over my cappucinno!!! Don't beat yourself up - you feel what you feel - the important thing is to let your feelings flow then dust yourself off and go again. We are surrounded by body concious advertising etc - I too have joined the world of the one boob wonder so I understand how you feel! I guess I try to remember that I am not defined by my boob but what was and still is surrounding it !! Thats you!!! Anyway this is a great place to let it all hang out - there are amazing ladies online who understand and do not judge you for where you are at!! Hope you feel on the up again soon. Take care Debsx PS. Nothing wrong with a bit of me, me , me now and again!! For most ladies me is usually at the bottom of the list x

I agree with everything that Debs said! You can't feel guilty about thinking about yourself! As women we are so often the last people on our own minds and we should think of ourselves sometimes. Little things can set us off when we are on this journey.....you can't make sense of it at all at times. Although I had reconstructions both times that I had BC I was one-boobed for about 5 months after my first mastectomy in 2003 (at age 35) and felt very self-conscious.....so I can understand what you are going through. Keep your chin up and whinge a bit more if you need to - we are always here to listen and we can all empathise with you :) Louise x

this is what we are here for, like we say, we have all been there and are hearing what you are saying, so dont feel sorry about whinging. When i went through i i felt the same, big baggy t-shirts were the order of the day, but one day you will wake up and get those nice clingy t shirts back on, so hang onto them. When i eventually had the courage to wear my normal t shirts i went through my cupboard and threw out all my baggies... never wanted to see them again. and its okay to have me me me time. its strange i never classed myself as being worried about my body image... yep that changed when the choice was taken away from me. We are all here for you, so keep on comming back, one day you will be the one who is on the other side of the journey, and helping others. take care Moira

So don't worry about the rest of the world. It is okay to cry and feel Sh.t, I still feel it some days. Don't bet your self up for it. We are all learning how to deal with our surprise emotions that shock us at times. tomorrow might be a better day ... Yes you can still were a T-shirt ... there are tricks. I live on "Build-in Bra Tank Top" for years. see (http://www.bcna.org.au/network/groups/10661/blog/11990) Tomorrow is another day ... a day with you in it ...

Just letting off a little steam | BCNA Online Network

15 Replies

moira1
Member
15 years ago
this is what we are here for, like we say, we have all been there and are hearing what you are saying, so dont feel sorry about whinging. When i went through i i felt the same, big baggy t-shirts were the order of the day, but one day you will wake up and get those nice clingy t shirts back on, so hang onto them. When i eventually had the courage to wear my normal t shirts i went through my cupboard and threw out all my baggies... never wanted to see them again. and its okay to have me me me time. its strange i never classed myself as being worried about my body image... yep that changed when the choice was taken away from me. We are all here for you, so keep on comming back, one day you will be the one who is on the other side of the journey, and helping others. take care Moira
louiseg
Member
15 years ago
I agree with everything that Debs said! You can't feel guilty about thinking about yourself! As women we are so often the last people on our own minds and we should think of ourselves sometimes.

Little things can set us off when we are on this journey.....you can't make sense of it at all at times.

Although I had reconstructions both times that I had BC I was one-boobed for about 5 months after my first mastectomy in 2003 (at age 35) and felt very self-conscious.....so I can understand what you are going through.

Keep your chin up and whinge a bit more if you need to - we are always here to listen and we can all empathise with you :)

Louise x
pinkpeonie
Member
15 years ago
Hi hippyliv

Please dont apologise!!!! Venting is good!!

Somedays I think it just hits us and we have to go with that and then deep breath and swim again!!

I was diagnosed with bc 25 March at the ripe old age of 41. It doesnt matter what your diagnosis or prognosis you are still on the road!!

I too have tried to be as positive as possible but somedays reality bites. I can imagine how the arrival of your tshirt set you off. It just confronts you by what your going through.

It happens at the most unexpected times - I was having coffee with a friend a few weeks back - feeling pretty positive I have to say and then a lady walked into the coffee shop wearing a headscarf and I found myself in tears over my cappucinno!!!

Don't beat yourself up - you feel what you feel - the important thing is to let your feelings flow then dust yourself off and go again.

We are surrounded by body concious advertising etc - I too have joined the world of the one boob wonder so I understand how you feel!

I guess I try to remember that I am not defined by my boob but what was and still is surrounding it !!

Thats you!!!

Anyway this is a great place to let it all hang out - there are amazing ladies online who understand and do not judge you for where you are at!!

Hope you feel on the up again soon.

Take care

Debsx

PS. Nothing wrong with a bit of me, me , me now and again!! For most ladies me is usually at the bottom of the list x
pinkpeonie
Member
15 years ago
Hi hippyliv

Please dont apologise!!!! Venting is good!!

Somedays I think it just hits us and we have to go with that and then deep breath and swim again!!

I was diagnosed with bc 25 March at the ripe old age of 41. It doesnt matter what your diagnosis or prognosis you are still on the road!!

I too have tried to be as positive as possible but somedays reality bites. I can imagine how the arrival of your tshirt set you off. It just confronts you by what your going through.

It happens at the most unexpected times - I was having coffee with a friend a few weeks back - feeling pretty positive I have to say and then a lady walked into the coffee shop wearing a headscarf and I found myself in tears over my cappucinno!!!

Don't beat yourself up - you feel what you feel - the important thing is to let your feelings flow then dust yourself off and go again.

We are surrounded by body concious advertising etc - I too have joined the world of the one boob wonder so I understand how you feel!

I guess I try to remember that I am not defined by my boob but what was and still is surrounding it !!

Thats you!!!

Anyway this is a great place to let it all hang out - there are amazing ladies online who understand and do not judge you for where you are at!!

Hope you feel on the up again soon.

Take care

Debsx

PS. Nothing wrong with a bit of me, me , me now and again!! For most ladies me is usually at the bottom of the list x

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