It's scary stuff...
I lay in bed awake at night...is this chemo working? Is the Herceptin working? Are the tumours shrinking? ...Stable? Is this cancer spreading?...to my brain? bones? liver? skin?...Or has the whole lo...
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Oh wow, I can totally relate to your post Celeste! I was getting overwhelmed with all the 'what if's' after my first diagnosis in 2002. I would imagine all sorts of horrible things and wonder how my girls (who were 6 and 9) would cope without me. Then I started seeing an amazing psychologist who helped me change my thought patterns. I only concerned myself with what was happening TODAY, not what might happen in the future.
He also helped me to realize that some things were simply out of my control, and worrying about them was pointless. What a relief it was to give myself permission to stop worrying. It really wasn't helping me one way or the other. When I had my new cancer diagnosed in August this year, I was so used to this new way of thinking that I coped quite well. You seem to be doing everything in your power to stay well, so be easy on yourself and enjoy the little things. None of us know what the future holds, but we can all make the choice to enjoy the present! Love Jane xxxx