Its Been A While

Hi everyone! I thought its been a while since I'd written anything on here and have been feeling a bit neglectful, so I had some spare time, and here I am!

I'm coming up to 4 years since my diagnosis in a few months and can't beleive how long ago it feels, and some days it just feels like yesterday.

Although I have completed all my treatments and surgeries, I still have lingering effects from them. Chronic pain in my feet,  numbness in my chest and arms, pain in my joints, short term memory fades, hot flushes just to name a few!

But these are only the physical scars, the emotional ones seem to be harder to ignore.

I struggle alot to keep my emotions in check, I always consider the future when planning things, constantly worry about recurrence, my "down" days seem really low and my highs, really high. I worry more and more about my daughter's futures, Emma is already positive to BRCA1 and it almost seems a given that my youngest daughter Tyla will be too. I'm sad that Emma at the age of 20, has to make the decision about her future and her breasts.  It seems unfair that something, that in some ways, has brought alot of good change in my life, is such a burden on hers.

I wish for things to be different, often.

So many things change after a breast cancer diagnosis, some good, some bad. Its hard to remember how things were "before bc". I think back to how carefree I must've been and realise that I took my health and "normal" life for granted. So now I just need to find a new normal, its a daily challenge and after nearly 4 years, one I still undertake everyday.

But we get on with it as mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, workers, grandmothers and best friends. We do what is needed and we thank the Universe that we are still here to continue our journeys.

Love & Health,

Sam x