Forum Discussion

caza08's avatar
caza08
Member
11 years ago

I'm curable but..

I've been diagnosed with breast cancer on 5/6/15. I've been to see a surgeon and I meet with an oncologist next week and also have 2 scans, so a full week. I don't feel scared or worried, all I think about are my family.

My daughter-in-law was pregnant and very sick and in pain, so they brought the baby on 2 months early, so they could find out what was wrong with her. So 11 months ago she was diagnosed with breast cancer, secondary to her liver and also secondary to her bones in her hips and tailbone. She has had chemo, a hip replacement radiology, my son has given up work to care for her,their 9 year old son and the baby boy who is now 11 months old. During this time I have gone from full-time work to part-time so I can help with anything I can, but most of it is looking after the baby when they go to hospital for treatments or I have him overnight to give them a break and some rest. She lost her mother to  breast cancer, but she has a lovely aunty that helps out and looks after the 9 year old a lot. The aunty has cancer in her eye and has had her eye removed last year, so she cant drive very far, only in a small area, not on freeways to Sydney or Newcastle which we need to get to for hospital appointments.

Now I've had to tell my husband, my  two daughters and my son, that I have breast cancer !

They've all seen how sick my daughter-in-law has been, and the secondary cancer has travelled to other areas in her bones (shoulders and  neck) and also her spleen. There isn't a lot more they can do for her and its so sad to watch her go through this and watch my son care for his family, so I feel I don't have time for me to be sick, because all I want to do is be there and help my  family.

I have a great husband and daughters and I have good friends, but hoping this online blog will help me cope with what  is to come.

Caza

family

7 Replies

  • caza08's avatar
    caza08
    Member
    11 years ago

    Thanks Tracey, I certainly feel that these responses are wonderful to hear, I'm sure most of us have friends and family for support, but this forum is as you say, a great debrief !

    Caza

  • caza08's avatar
    caza08
    Member
    11 years ago

    This site is wonderful to share your stories and I appreciate you have taken the time to lend support and tell your story.

    Thanks Mira

    Caza

  • caza08's avatar
    caza08
    Member
    11 years ago

    Thankyou for your lovely response, it was just what I needed to hear. I will definitely look to get that book you have recommended, and think that your timing to look at this site a year later is very fortunate for me.

    Caza

  • Anonymous's avatar
    Anonymous
    Not applicable
    11 years ago

    My goodness, you have a lot to process Caza. You've come to the right website, where it's safe to debrief when you're having a bad day. I hope that all of your treatments go well, Tracey B

  • Mira's avatar
    Mira
    Member
    11 years ago

    Hi Caza,

    I feel for you.  That's a lot to be going through.  My Aunt was diagnosed with lung cancer the same week that I was diagnosed with breast cancer.  Sadly they cant do much for her, but thankfully I am fine.  We have been swapping letters (snail mail doesn't have to be just bills!) with our stories and at one stage when I bought snazzy pyjamas to wear in hospital she wanted some just the same! 

    Its a really hard situation.  But remember that you need to take care of yourself as well.  We are all here for you if you need us, just give a shout :)

    cheers

    Mira

  • Stemgirl's avatar
    Stemgirl
    Member
    11 years ago

    Hi Caza,

    Wow, you have a lot going on. This is my first time back to this site for about a year, I think. I thought I'd pop in and have a look around, and I saw your post. I can only imagine how difficult it must have been to tell your family that you also have breast cancer, and how frustrating it must be, when you really want to be there 100% to support your daughter-in-law. It is very important that you give yourself permission to give attention to yourself - we are useless to others if we don't take care of ourselves first. You also need support, so it is great you have come to this site, which helped me so much when I was diagnosed 2 years ago. I have no idea what sort of person you are, but for me, I came across a book just before I started chemo by Rachel Naomi Remen called Kitchen Table Wisdom http://www.rachelremen.com/books/  It was like a balm. I downloaded it onto my kindle and it traveled with me throughout my chemo and surgeries. I still pull it out and read it when I need to centre myself again.

    A close friend of mine, a mum with 4 children in our little community, died of breast cancer just as I was having my first round of chemo. What I learnt from this was that people are very generous and that there is enough love from friends and family for everyone who is sick and requires support. At first I was hesitant to talk about my breast cancer too much as I didn't want to take the spotlight away from my friend, who was diagnosed with Stage IV breast cancer nearly 3 years before. I felt guilty that I might be trying to claim some of that attention, but that soon disappeared....there is enough love to go around. During my friend's last few weeks of life, she was one of the most amazing helps as she texted me support and encouragement for commencing chemo, helping me to overcome my fear, and also giving me a lot of practical advice. In hindsight, I think it probably helped her too, to know that she had something to offer me even though she was so sick and her days were numbered. 

    I wish you all the best for your visit to the oncologist and your various scans this coming week. And I wish your family all the best also at this very stressful time for you all.

    Ngaire