Hey Liz - sounds like we may be quite similar in our thinking ;) I'm also not the best at expressing how i feel (well, the dark side anyway). Writing it down helps alot. I will also use the services of free counselling at the hospital as I am finding that having someone actually listen encourages me to talk about my feelings...without judgement. Friends and family aren't so good at this ;)
I will def check out your blog...like your team, my surgeon def thinks I should wait...get through this surgery and the treatment before hitting my body with another shock.
So for now it's deep breaths and more deep breaths. My world has shrunk to a very small focus...me and my cancer (LOL).
Cheers
Heidixxx