Hi Georgie, the first few days and weeks are a real roller coaster ride, and you are just hurled along for the ride whether you like it or not. As Tracey said, it does get easier. I think once you get over the shock and you have a treatment plan, it is easier to start to deal with things. We all have had bad days, and worse days, and then days that are not so bad. There is just such an information overload to start with that it is hard to get your head around things. When you feel ready, you might actually find the booklets useful. There is some very helpful information in them. When you do feel like reading, there is another book that I would highly recommend that you buy. It is called, BREAST CANCER, taking control. It is by Dr John Boyages, and it is such a good book. It is written simply and in layman terms and is very easy to understand. I bought it just after I had had my surgery, and I really couldn't put it down. It is only recently published, and cost about $35. He offers hope, and many explainations, and with that your confidence will increase. I am sorry you are having such a horrible time at present. Love Chris xx