I want this thing out of me now!

Thanks Annie, i know you didn't mean to make me cry, it's just a really sad disease and so many people are hurting  it's not fare.

Your very true, when your a mum you have years of learning how to put your children and family before yourself. To switch that off is extremly hard.  I went through a marriage breakdown  when my children were quite a bit younger and i had to  learn to defend for myself. 

There was no pampering or pity for myself , I needed to solder on.  Toughen up princess so to speak.  My children became my world and still are, and  i struggle to see them sad or hurt, so letting them see me hurting is just  devastating.   

Thanks again for the sound advice, i really appreciate it.  Cheers Jo xx