I have very little self esteem

Hi Trace,

I am so looking forward to my cousin coming from Sydney it will be great for us all we will have a busy 4 days but their are going to be some very happy tears of joy, at the moment I am looking towards life beyond treatment and getting back into athletics I plan on walking 2.5km in april which I did last year and in May they have a run/walk fun run for breast cancer called the Mother's Day Classic it's held all over australia at different times you can walk 4 or 8 km or run 4 or 8 km, you can put teams together which I'm planning to do and it's an all day fun event with jumping castles, face painting etc for the kids I look at it as my way to give back to everyone who has helped me doctors, nurses etc, I'm so motivated to do it I see my life differently now I have a new lease on life and a second chance to really make a difference, sending you a big cuddle and a smile and huge positive vibes I have to go see my oncologist today I'll let everyone on here know how I went, Anitaxx

Hi Anita,

I love your attitude.  Put your scarf and lippy on and hold your head up high.  You'll get through this. Hope your daughter is feeling better.  It's horrible when they're sick. Have a wonderful time with your cousin visiting. Karen xx

Good for you Anita, you're doing well. Nice to look forward to your visitor, it'll be lovely for you. Sending you a big cuddle, Trace ??????

Hi Karen,

I love your attitude I have learnt to deal with losing my hair now and I think if someone has a problem then It's their problem not mine I don't have time for narrow minded people anymore, I recently had a really nice conversation in a chemist a couple of weeks ago not long after I was diagnosed I went in there and I knew she was undergoing chemo for bc and I was right and she would allways wave and give me a smile as she was allways busy and couldn't talk a couple of weeks ago we went in there and we had a lovely chat and she told me how she felt some days and asked me how I was feeling and it was nice the following week is when the remainder of my hair came out but I'm ok with it now in fact I'm proud of my bald head as I should be I hold my head up high because I'm going to come through on the other side a stronger and better person and I'm starting to set myself goals now of things I want to achieve post bc I have a very positive outlook with my treatment and I'm taking it one treatment at a time, I can't wait until look good feel better and my cousin is arriving in darwin from sydney the following week and we haven't seen each other since 2007 and can't wait to see her she'll be here for 4 days and we are all looking forward to it, sending you a cuddle and a smile Anitaxx

Hi Anita

Im sorry that your self esteem is suffering. I chose not to wear anything at all. I made up my mind very quickly that if others had a problem with me being bald then that was their problem not mine. Most people were really good and I had a number of people come up to me and say that they had been where I was now and that I would get there. The occasional rude person would cop "what? Haven't you ever seen a bald woman before?" or "Am I wearing something of yours?"  You have nothing to be embarrassed about. This is your life at present and you're doing the best you can. You are doing an amazing job fighting this disease. It is such a hard road. Be proud of yourself.  Hope you feel more confident soon. Look good feel better will help. All the best. Karen xox

Hi Maryrose,

I have decided you can't change peoples attitudes so I don't worry  about it anymore I don't let anyone bring me down now as I have to concentrate on my journey and I'm starting to think of things I want to do after my treatment is finished so getting through my treatment is my main focus right now not small minded people like my MIL it's her problem not mine and my daughter and I are very close again now I have put a stop to her interferance I had a chat with my hubby and It's all good now, I hope to chat again soon sending you a cuddle and a smile Anitaxx

Hi Anita. Try to focus on yourself. I know its hard but i like carol have removed the negative people from my life. When i was going through treatment last year i received support from friends more than family. You cant change how people think just get on with getting better and focus on yourself. Lots of best wishes to you.

Maryrose 

Hi Carol,

 I have come to the conclusion that my MIL isn't going to change her attitude so I need to get on with getting myself better and I don't care what she thinks anymore I also have come across some of my friends who have changed their attitude towards me but that's their problem not mine narrow minded people I don't have time for I have to look after me I have a very supportive husband and I am thankful for that and my daughter is amazing children are so resilient which amazes me, I have decided to not go with a wig either as it's very hot here in Darwin and scarves and hats are cooler and I like them getting sunburnt is one of my biggest concerns so I cover up well and I don't have my license so I have to walk everywhere so sun is an issue and my husband doesn't like me to have to much sun exposure and I am cool with that for now I really value everyone's support sending you a cuddle and a smile Anita ????????

So sorry you have to put up with sickness and negative attitudes from those who should be helping. It took me years but I have removed the negative people from my life - sister and narcistic exhubby who feels everything is only about him - no one else could possibly be sick or need attention like him!

I found I couldnt tolerate the expensive wig I bought since my scalp was soooooo sensitive so just used cotton hats and cotton scarves some of which I made myself. My sons said not to worry going out bald but I did also it was rather cold in winter wothout hair or any other covering and one gets sunburnt far more easily while on chemo and suffering its side effects.

take care and try not to worry what mother in law says or does if you can.

carolh

Hi Gillian,

I also brought caps from the Hat House but I prefer scarves as they are a bit hot in Darwin I should get some lighter ones but our local Cancer Center if they have them donated you can take your pick which is very nice, I got some long scarves which I just need to find I way to make them look cool they have fringes on them and they are long so I feel comfortable in them and less exposed, It's going to be awesome for you to see Kakadu I went when I was 19 in the wet season summer in Sydney I'm originally from Melbourne make sure you pack light clothing and lots of sunscreen and repellent as this time of year it's very hot and humid and the sun is very harsh so you need to be careful especially with Lymphodeama just some friendly advice, my cousin who also lives in Sydney is coming up to see me for 4 days in October mid chemo on my good week luckily so we can go out we haven't seen each other since 2007 so we are very excited about it especially Angelena but she's annoyed she won't get to meet her cousins as Kristin hasn't seen her since she was about 1 and she's 9 now, I'm taking my treatment 1 day at a time and I'm very positive now thanks to my family excluding my MIL, friends and my management team and where would I be without my Breast Care nurses they are awesome we need them and especially everyone who shows me support on BCNA.

Sending you a Cuddle, a smile and lots of positive vibes.

Anitaxx