@Elmumof2 it sounds like you are going through a tough time and understandably.
When the doctor confirmed I had breast cancer I thought my whole world had colllapsed. I was at work and had a message to call my doctor about the results of my breast biopsy. I just asked her do I have cancer and she did not want to tell me over the phone but I needed to know. I closed my office door and just howled. I had lost my sister who is 12 months older than me and all I could think off how was I going to tell my mum and dad and my family and children that I had cancer too. I cried and cried and drove home that afternoon along the beach and gathered myself before I faced my husband and children aged 21 and 23. .
My emotions were all over the place. I was angry and thought why me hasn't my family been through enough watching my sister suffer. Then all of a sudden the fight kicked in and I thought you are not going to win this battle this time.,I will fight you all the way and I won. Yahoo !! A winner