It's perfectly normal to be angry, frustrated, frightened and lost about your future. These are bloody scary times, and you need to have a good cry.... my breast care nurse wore lots of my tears and told me it was best to let it all out. This keeping strong for others sucks. You have a right to feel as you do. Do you have a best friend you could debrief with. I have a screaming place that I go to where I am alone and nobody is around to hear me. I yell and scream and cry and rid myself of my shit on my own, and it helps to let it all out. You have the extra stresses of your husbands illness and missing your little ones as well.
Feeling for you, and sending you a huge gentle cuddle, Trace xx