Hi El big huggs ...great you have reached out lots of welcomes to come.. no you are not alone.Its good to vent and here is the place. Its a shittiie thing that has occured no its not our fault.Mastectomy seems to be healing ok so will be short time before you get home. Sounds like you will need a comfort pillow on your chest when little ones are close. I found i could do most personal care things..just no heavy household chores for a couple of weeks.For me cooking great therapy but it sounds like the young ones will be yours! Reply tonight if you can...sister in treatment Cheers Bright ;)