I feel silly

Hi ladies, I have arrived home after spending the night in hospital. After my chemo treatment last week, I seemed to be gifted with all the side effects that Docetaxol can offer. The bone pain I tolerated with the help of panadol,  the rash was manageable with anti-histamines, my throat was scratchy as it always is for a few days after chemo. I was rinsing all the time and following all the rules, it didn't seem to improve. My temperature always started to rise (never got to 38) then it would return to normal. It was difficult to eat and drink, but I was forcing myself to do both. I just kept thinking, 'it will pass', and I didn't really want to go the emergency department on a long weekend. I did ring the hospital on the Saturday night to ask what they thought. The nurse said to  keep an eye on my temperature and to keep my calories up and get it checked out on the Tuesday when I went for a dressing change for my picc. Well, on Tuesday, nurse took one look and called my oncologist and I really felt silly, no actually stupid. I was dehydrated and malnourished and was admitted overnight while they pushed fluids into me. I had a throat infection which of course had turned dangerous because of my white cells. The oncologist said she could understand up to a point, but the loss of weight should of rang alarm bells. I now have nilstat, liquid morphine and lozenges to take. You know, I kept reading all the paperwork on side effects and thinking 'don't be a sook', but that was stupid. But it's hard to know what's normal when having these drugs. Feeling ok now, just can't believe I didn't realise what was happening. My poor partner was worried but he still has his heart issues to deal with and I kept assuring him that with chemo, you do feel unwell and that I would recover in a few days. To all the experieced ladies out there, I can almost hear you say 'dear, dear'. What a goose:) To all the inexperienced ladies, if in doubt, check it out:)  Hope everybody is doing ok, 

Hazel xx