Cook65
11 years agoMember
I feel like a fool
I am sitting at work bawling. I have just had a full blown panic attack. Wow what set that off you may ask! In our weekly admin meeting, the boss announced that they are going to take us girls out...
HI sweetheart, I had the same feeling of panic attack, even though I completed chemo in JUNE, when requesting to crowd area.
I thought I was back to normal but emotionally or mentally was not ready yet.
I should had a gathering of 4 in Jan, it turned out was 20 people and at the entrance of the restaurant, I turned myself away and back home. I was so sorry for that, but tears came from the heart and dont know why. Then I finally sat down for the Chinese New Year dinner last week, it was so crowded with Lion Dance, I was stress, sweat, and shaking. I always thought of because the Tamoxifen cause me in this way. I know myself even hiding up from eye contact to people.
It's no good for me, especially I usually not active to activity at all. I always do things, like shopping, eating by myself. I may turn out myself in more exclusive and isolated at the end :(
Rosanna