I feel like a fool
I am sitting at work bawling. I have just had a full blown panic attack. Wow what set that off you may ask! In our weekly admin meeting, the boss announced that they are going to take us girls out...
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HI sweetheart, I had the same feeling of panic attack, even though I completed chemo in JUNE, when requesting to crowd area.
I thought I was back to normal but emotionally or mentally was not ready yet.
I should had a gathering of 4 in Jan, it turned out was 20 people and at the entrance of the restaurant, I turned myself away and back home. I was so sorry for that, but tears came from the heart and dont know why. Then I finally sat down for the Chinese New Year dinner last week, it was so crowded with Lion Dance, I was stress, sweat, and shaking. I always thought of because the Tamoxifen cause me in this way. I know myself even hiding up from eye contact to people.
It's no good for me, especially I usually not active to activity at all. I always do things, like shopping, eating by myself. I may turn out myself in more exclusive and isolated at the end :(
Rosanna