so here I sit after having my two ops (first lumpectomy and five nodes) then (all nodes as cancer spread) my chemo starts Tuesday and I have told the family, husband, daughter 20, her fiance 22, and younger daughter 16, that I don’t want to be worried about the kitchen at the moment and could they organise everything from buying groceries to cooking and cleaning. I have been met with resistance from husband as he believes I should be able to get back in the kitchen and do things within a few days and that I just can’t say no I’m not going to do it! Tell me what can I expect and can I get back in there? How many days do you feel sick for? I’m having the 21 day cycle chemo first.. can’t remember the name

Stock up on tins of veg soup,lemonade ice blocks,lemon cordial and crackers- label with your name on.That’s all I could eat for a week or so after chemo dose. Take to your bed whenever family are around and don’t do anything! They’ll soon get the message and just have to fend for themselves. You have to go into survival mode and look after yourself.Perhaps your family just don’t realize how hard chemo will be on you.They’ll learn very quickly!

Bad luck, hubby, the maid is broken. If you were his car, tractor, bike etc he'd understand that in order for you to work properly, he'd have to spend time and money on you. If he had to send machinery off to the dealership for a rebuild, he'd do it. Deeply inconvenient as that may be for him.Take to your bed. Don't participate. If these people are worth you, they will pitch in. Kym, this is all about you at the moment. Things will get worse before they get better, do not set yourself up to fail by allowing unrealistic time frames or expectations becoming something you feel you need to live up to. Marg xxx

Tbh our food / grocery bills went down as my hubby is just a basic shopper and I ended up spending time on my mobile first couple of times telling him where to find things.You can order online groceries and have them delivered plus once a week pizza / fast food won’t hurt. Housework probably will be needs basis and worse comes to worse shut doors so you don’t see it.It may not run as smoothly as you have done but it will run because it has to and they’ll need to pitch in if they want clean clothes etc.

hi Kym G, which century does your hubby and adult children live in ??? You could be very sick with chemo, I was floored from day 3 til about day 14 then I would begin to come good again only for the next dose to be due... THEY are not children my 15,17 and 25yr Kids got in there and did it all with some support from friends.... Maybe have a cooking bee this weekend with them all helping to make double batches of Spaghetti Bol, soups and stews or make a list and get the groceries done then prep things into amounts and ziplock bags and freeze where they can pull it out and put in slow cooker in the morning to come home to a meal cooked at night. Getting groceries ordered and delivered online might be a good option. I really feel for you ... YOU are the one who is going through treatment they need to pitch in and support you right now. hugs Soldiercrab

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Husband and chores | BCNA Online Network

32 Replies

Blondy
Member
8 years ago
KymG am so glad things worked out. Its such a huge learning curve for all concerned. Women are natural nurturers and even I expected my husband to step into those shoes. Nup. If I ask, he'll do anything, but rarely takes the lead. However I woukdnt change him for quids. Basically I just dont think they fully understand.
Finch
Member
8 years ago
Great to hear ..... this is the time you need all the support you can get. Take care xx
arpie
Member
8 years ago
That's terrific, @"Kym G" - all the best for your continuing treatment xx
primek
Member
8 years ago
Excellent news. Look after you. X
Kiwi_Angel
Member
8 years ago
@"Kym G" that’s excellent news that u r being looked after xoxo
kmakm
Member
8 years ago
Brilliant Kym! So pleased to hear it. And how are you getting on with your treatment? K xox
Kym_G
Member
8 years ago
Hello everyone! thank you for your comments... Yes the family have come around and are being really good! maybe its my hair falling out or maybe its that i can't get out of bed for those days straight after chemo but they have come around thank god..... Ive had my sister in law come and visit and fill my freezer with soup and pasta sauces! so good!!
kmakm
Member
8 years ago
Hi Kym. Have your family come round yet? Any sign that they're 'getting it'?! K xox
Anonymous
Not applicable
8 years ago
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TonyaM
Member
8 years ago
Stock up on tins of veg soup,lemonade ice blocks,lemon cordial and crackers- label with your name on.That’s all I could eat for a week or so after chemo dose. Take to your bed whenever family are around and don’t do anything! They’ll soon get the message and just have to fend for themselves. You have to go into survival mode and look after yourself.Perhaps your family just don’t realize how hard chemo will be on you.They’ll learn very quickly!