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catcrazy's avatar
catcrazy
Member
12 years ago

How Do I Feel?

Hi ladies, just came from my second check up after finishing chemo for mets to bones and lungs, which I finished 4 weeks ago. My initial scan after chemo showed all tumours had shrunk in lungs but today doc says actually a couple of the spots in lungs had not responded to the chemo. This floored me! I feel angry now because the first doc didnt have the actual report in front of her and was just going off the xray. But what it does do is prove to me the power of the mind - when I thought everything was going really well I felt well. And after hearing this today, coupled with the need for a brain scan due to these excruciating pains in the head ( not an actual headache - actual sharp pains ) I feel, well I wish I could describe it! And then the doc mentions the word 'terminal'. Well I've heard the words 'stage 4' 'secondary cancer' and 'metastatic cancer' but not actually terminal. I never, well almost never think about the circumstance I am in, but quite frankly I think in some ways I am going to explode. I have very supportive hubby and kids but dont want to burden particular the 19 and 13 year old kids with this. Thanks for listening ladies, I hope you are all doing well along your journeys. Natalie xxx

3 Replies

  • Matrix56's avatar
    Matrix56
    Member
    12 years ago
    Only half listen to them, always stay positive, that is the key to fighting this. My Oncologist doesn't (won't more to the point) really tell me much, unless she really really has to, it has happened once so far. When I visit her I get one of the following lines "treatment is being managed" or "nothing to discuss all the same" or keep doing what your doing" She has told me that when things do change and there is concern she will discuss things then. Her attitude is - if you can stay positive as much as possible then that is half the battle. I believe this to be so. So I say to you, (Natalie) don't listen to half of what they say, your strong, young, what do they know, we know our bodies and mind better than they do. Smile on the dial.
  • Robyn_W's avatar
    Robyn_W
    Member
    12 years ago
    I am sorry to hear this news of yours!I don't blame you for wanting to explode!I. Can't imagine which way you would turn.i hope that other ladies in a similar position will offer more help than I can.Ever since my diagnosis I have followed your blog posts,and have always liked your attitude.Please keep smiling,and stay on here if there is any way that we can help xoxox .Robym
  • catcrazy's avatar
    catcrazy
    Member
    12 years ago

    Thanks Julia. No I havent thought about that yet, but surely will when that dreaded time comes. Not really thinking about this too much, well trying not too anyway. Maybe its not the right approach but its all I can do at th moment. Im glad you love cats. We have 5 rescue cats all girls. They really are my little guardian angels. Strangely, the one in my pic is the one that the day before I found my initial breast lump she proceeded to rub against and lick my left chest area in a almost panicky type of way that she has never done before. She now is like my shadow - i try to shower with the door closed but Mia sits there crying. Ahh, they're such beautiful animals - after owning Rottweilers for the last 20 years and only finding out about cats for the last 3 years since our dogs passed on, I cant believe we never wanted cats. Cats rule! haha. All the best xxx