How dare I!
REST, RECOVER, RESTORE. Sorry in advance.......but here it comes...... Well I'm having one of those weeks........The light is dimmed somewhat..... It's been just over two weeks since I...
Forum Discussion
Oh Tracy...I had a similar day yesterday. I was exhausted when I woke up...had done the encore program the night before and it wiped me. So not only do I have terrible stiff ankles when I first get out of bed from the femera but then all my muscles ached. I akso git really out of breath during exercise and fear the heart is coping so well with the Herceptin. Tuesday I was light headed and had been to the chemo unit to check BP which was low.
The heat has cranked up here...and as I am still too fat to wear my summer clothes I'm in jeans and tops. So there I am in the spare room trying to get out my packed away clothes to see if anything would fit (stuffed into storage areas...yes went in..but wouldn't come out )...and nope...not yet...despite 11kg off and starving most days, nothing fits...sigh.
So in the bathroom I go...big sigh...find another chipped f..n nail...I had just filed them as short as I could and put diamond hardener on them...but oh no...it breaks off lower again. That was it...tears flowing down my cheeks and great ugly sobs.
So hubby says...whats up. My response . ..I'm over it...I know I am better but I want my life back..I want energy. I want to be able to just do the housework...and not be wiped out by ckeaning 3 floors. I'm working a 4 hour day 5 days a week.. and this week I am questioning if it is too much...sigh.
It didn't help that a local teacher..who was vibrant and full of life 2 months ago had died of cancer and was front page. It hits you. I had already been thinking that morning..gee it was quick..then lucky I guess...then...no if mine comes back I'm fighting and I want lots more time . ..then the flood comes. It is always there isn't it. The fear. It's darn draining. Most days I pretend I'm not tired, I pretend I'm not scared, I believe I am cured...but those dark thoughts are not far below the surface.
And My darn back is playing up..which makes you nervous...sigh.
So Tracy...from one fighting sister to another...I'm hearing ya. And we all get it. I really don't think anyone but a fellow cancer fighter can.
Take care. It will get better. Kath x
The heat has cranked up here...and as I am still too fat to wear my summer clothes I'm in jeans and tops. So there I am in the spare room trying to get out my packed away clothes to see if anything would fit (stuffed into storage areas...yes went in..but wouldn't come out )...and nope...not yet...despite 11kg off and starving most days, nothing fits...sigh.
So in the bathroom I go...big sigh...find another chipped f..n nail...I had just filed them as short as I could and put diamond hardener on them...but oh no...it breaks off lower again. That was it...tears flowing down my cheeks and great ugly sobs.
So hubby says...whats up. My response . ..I'm over it...I know I am better but I want my life back..I want energy. I want to be able to just do the housework...and not be wiped out by ckeaning 3 floors. I'm working a 4 hour day 5 days a week.. and this week I am questioning if it is too much...sigh.
It didn't help that a local teacher..who was vibrant and full of life 2 months ago had died of cancer and was front page. It hits you. I had already been thinking that morning..gee it was quick..then lucky I guess...then...no if mine comes back I'm fighting and I want lots more time . ..then the flood comes. It is always there isn't it. The fear. It's darn draining. Most days I pretend I'm not tired, I pretend I'm not scared, I believe I am cured...but those dark thoughts are not far below the surface.
And My darn back is playing up..which makes you nervous...sigh.
So Tracy...from one fighting sister to another...I'm hearing ya. And we all get it. I really don't think anyone but a fellow cancer fighter can.
Take care. It will get better. Kath x