Hi sharon, i'm also struggling really hard with the smoking thing. i had my mastectomy on December 29 and a week long stay in hospital free of cigarettes. Coming home was another thing - and i am really fighting a losing battle at the moment. My doctor also told me when i was diagnosed that giving up smoking was too much - system overload - how much can we deal with at one time! hope you're winning but try not to be overloaded with guilt about it, i am trying to be kind to myself at the moment. i think we all need it.