Forum Discussion

Rachey73's avatar
Rachey73
Member
15 years ago

Having my First Bad Day (1of many I guess)

Aggghh, I need to have a whinge.....   I have been coping with this breast cancer stuff for the past 2 weeks and now I feel the cracks start to open up!

I don't want to feel sorry for myself and I am getting  angry when I start to well up.  I started to get upset last night when Hubby and I finally felt relaxed enough to do the deed.  Sorry if that is too much info...  As we now have to use protection, it just seems so wrong as we have been trying to make babies for over a yr now.

I feel like chucking the biggest tantrum and yell and scream, NO I don't want this now, I want a child!!  It feels like when we lost our Little Angel.   I felt safe at home and could only handle small doses of people in general.  I work from home as Tony is a contractor, so I do his bookwork.  I was suppose to meet a girlfriend but she had forgotten that she had an appointment, but I felt ok and thought I'd go anyway.  I only lasted a few hours and then had to come home again. 

..............Paused for some tears and tissues here.  :o) 

I think it is just the unknown right now.  When we get the results back from the Op, we will have a definate plan to follow and may only need radiation therapy.  

Ok, feeling better now after a cry and a rant.  Thanks for listening. 

Rachxx

4 Replies

  • Renata's avatar
    Renata
    Member
    15 years ago

    Hi Rachel,

    Don't feel bad about being upset and angry especially at the beginning. I still feel angry and have outbursts and it has been 5 months since diagnosis for me. Least you have felt like doing the deed, I have lost all interest since diagnosis, my poor hubby. There is plenty of support available out there and i have been making the most of it.

    Good luck with everything.

    Renata

  • Renata's avatar
    Renata
    Member
    15 years ago

    Hi Rachel,

    Don't feel bad about being upset and angry especially at the beginning. I still feel angry and have outbursts and it has been 5 months since diagnosis for me. Least you have felt like doing the deed, I have lost all interest since diagnosis, my poor hubby. There is plenty of support available out there and i have been making the most of it.

    Good luck with everything.

    Renata

  • sillysam83's avatar
    sillysam83
    Member
    15 years ago

    Its a good thing to be angry and upset - u need to b everynow and then 

    Ofcourse you have great reasons to be upset. If you havent already I would seek out a councillor or support group. - is fantastic to get certain things out and healthy to cry about ur feelings. I found my councillor to be a miracle worker lol... I thought I was coping fine, all happy n bubbly still, staying positive etc... then went into her room for my normal routine mental checkup and suddenly all the anger n angst i'd been holding in for months came out & boy did it feel bloody good! lol 

    I know your only at the start of your 'journey' :( & I know its hard to see the finish line b4 u even know what the race is gonna be.... But it may get worse before it gets better n unfortunately u will have more bad days, but u will also have good days & u will get thru this & soon enuf it will be that time again for u to start trying for a family.... 

    lol & there is never too much info on here... lol... were all ladies n its all good, say what u need to say... 

    Were always here to listen... 

    let us know about ur results.... :) 

  • sillysam83's avatar
    sillysam83
    Member
    15 years ago

    Its a good thing to be angry and upset - u need to b everynow and then 

    Ofcourse you have great reasons to be upset. If you havent already I would seek out a councillor or support group. - is fantastic to get certain things out and healthy to cry about ur feelings. I found my councillor to be a miracle worker lol... I thought I was coping fine, all happy n bubbly still, staying positive etc... then went into her room for my normal routine mental checkup and suddenly all the anger n angst i'd been holding in for months came out & boy did it feel bloody good! lol 

    I know your only at the start of your 'journey' :( & I know its hard to see the finish line b4 u even know what the race is gonna be.... But it may get worse before it gets better n unfortunately u will have more bad days, but u will also have good days & u will get thru this & soon enuf it will be that time again for u to start trying for a family.... 

    lol & there is never too much info on here... lol... were all ladies n its all good, say what u need to say... 

    Were always here to listen... 

    let us know about ur results.... :)