Forum Discussion
Halfway!
Well treatment 3 is done and dusted - now a week later. That is FEC out of the way! I have to say though that this one has knocked me a bit fatigue-wise. I was all raring to go but I am not bouncing quite so quickly from this one. It is only a week so each day should be a bit better - just muscle/bone pain and fatigue, no tastebuds, queasy tummy (not too bad). It's probably the weather too - it has been bitterly cold here in Melbourne and grey - not what a Qld girl enjoys! :-)
We did the Mother's Day Classic - I was just so happy to be out there with my family walking - the atmosphere was wonderful despite the weather - at least the rain held off until we were finished. I was proud of my littlies - we pushed my son but he bolted across the finish waving his cap in the air! I was supported by some of my amazing friends and their families too.
I'm onto Taxotere next - spent quite a bit of time talking to my Oncologist about all of my questions and she was great. I am a little anxious about Taxotere - I have done so well until now but feel the treatments taking their toll progressively and I'm not liking that at all. She suggested that most people do feel worse on Taxotere and don't get the bounce that you do with FEC - I'm hoping I'm not "most". Also discussed alcohol (that ad is horrible) - I don't drink a lot but enjoy a glass of wine and the ad makes me feel like I've caused my cancer. Along with the other well meaning people who tell me that my meat eating/dairy eating/non-organic eating..... has caused this to happen. Then there is the fact I don't exercise enough, colour my hair (when I had it!), had a spray tan once - sheesh! What's a girl to do!? I feel like there is a buzz in my head - that there is so much information, so many options. I don't know which way to go. Surely getting cancer is a message of some sort that something in your lifestyle is not right - but which bit? Help me out here hey?
Anyway - I am happy to say that BC is now not always my first thought when I wake (probably my second lol). I am now thinking about reconstruction. I am now thinking about life after treatment. I am now thinking about who I want to be and what I want to become because of this.
I am a little blue this time - again probably those blasted grey Melbourne skies - I want my life back - preferably without the cancer anywhere in there at any point (cause I only ever talk about it in past tense) - I want to be blissfully living life thinking I will live as long as my grandmother (87). I want to have the energy to get out amongst it all - mind over matter I suppose - so better get my mind into it! Everyone keeps saying how positive I am - and I am - it's not the cancer - it's the lack of control, the appointments, interruptions, lack of energy, lack of control - there's the crux. Time....I'll get it back I'm sure - just give it a little time...
39 Replies
Thanks Lee - you are right - perhaps it is a bit of a turning point. I am learning much about myself and others. I too am focussed on being cancer free and better because of all of this!
Amanda x
Leonie - wow what a wonder woman you are. Your girls must think that you are the most special mother ever to have given so much for them.
Thank you for the taxotere tips - I am going to try and stay positive. I am hoping I am up to doing something on Day 4 at Mic's school - she is desperate for me to do it so I think I will have to grin and bare it to be there for her. It's only a couple of hours at their career morning but I missed the excursion last term and the teacher tried to organise this around me but I got the dates mixed up! (can I blame chemo brain?)
I think the looking after yourself is one of the bigger lessons in BC but old habits take time to break don't they. I don't know about the cold treatment - will be interesting. I've never been much of a nails girls but the new me might just have to be! I hope your treatment went ok this time. I too have a sinus infection but so far ok. I have been having the neulasta from the start and it seems to be working - hopefully it continues to do so.
I hope you are doing ok.
Amanda xx
Leonie,you are pretty amazing to have brought up 2 kids on your own. I do believe that constant stress might play a part in developing bcancer.With each time I got cancer I had 2 years prior of terrible stress. Just hope it's all behind us now.
Tonya xx
Hi Tanya,
If you don't mind me asking,what sort of reconstruction did you have?I have been thinking lately about losing the "good" breast and having reconstruction.Will do my research first- not in any hurry as it's only a year since the mastectomy.I'd had 3 ankle operations just before that so can't face any more surgery for awhile.Glad to hear you are doing well and planning a fun family holiday.
Tonya xx
Hi Mandy Moo
just read your bio thingy and said you were a budding photographer (not sure of the exact words). And made me think of another young women from Melbourne that was a photographer and was diagnosed with BC. and I had the pleasue to meet.
She actually took some pictures of me for a book she was doing with BC women. Her name is Fiona and she owns Passion8. Check our her website, not sure if you have heard of her or seen her book.
Just thought I would mention it. She is a talented lady and you guys have a shared experience and besides, you look so great bald it may make the front cover of her book....lol
xx
HI girls...I haven't read all the related posts but have read Mandy's first one from May 16 and Leonie's last one. That half way mark was the pits for me. I said to my Dad, who is a Radiologist and who kept himself very up to date with my BC and treatments etc, that I couldn't continue. Realistically I could have stopped because my cancer had not spread to the lymph nodes but due to the aggressive nature of it I was advised to have the full treatment of Chemo and radio. I was fed up...just like you sounded MAndy...and so so sick and sore with bone pain etc etc...you girls know thte drill(!!) but I didn't want to live with myself not having given it my best shot with the treatments prescribed to me. Ick...I kept going and just like you will, got through it and came out the other side witih many positives on top of being free of cancer. When a person goes through these hardships life becomes more precious, good friends become like family and new friends are made who truly understand where you are coming from. Best of luck and warm wishes to you, Lee.XXX
Half way with your chemo, that must be must be a good feeling, hope all goes well with the next half. You must be looking forward to your reconstruction,I am not sure which way to go yet with it , implants or the other?. I am waiting to have the gene test and if it comes back positive will be having the other breast off.
Are you going private or public with your reconstruction?, I asked my surgeon about getting put on the waiting list for reconstruction, as even though I pay private health fund , I can not afford the out of pocket expense. He said the list is about 2 years and would not put me on the list yet. Iam going to see if my breast nurse can find out more for me. I am in N.S.W.
Big hugs in my thoughts Debbie xxxx
Half way with your chemo, that must be must be a good feeling, hope all goes well with the next half. You must be looking forward to your reconstruction,I am not sure which way to go yet with it , implants or the other?. I am waiting to have the gene test and if it comes back positive will be having the other breast off.
Are you going private or public with your reconstruction?, I asked my surgeon about getting put on the waiting list for reconstruction, as even though I pay private health fund , I can not afford the out of pocket expense. He said the list is about 2 years and would not put me on the list yet. Iam going to see if my breast nurse can find out more for me. I am in N.S.W.
Big hugs in my thoughts Debbie xxxx
I saw my surgeon yesterday and we started discussing my reconstruction. I am off to see a plastic surgeon next month. I didn't fill my expander any more as he didn't feel there would be any benefit to it. He has recommended a DIEP flap reconstruction and I am feeling quite good about it - obviously a longer consultation with the plastic surgeon but I think I would like to go with a tissue reconstruction rather than implants. I just really dislike the feel of the hardness on my chest and I don't like the idea of something foreign in me.
I really liked that his approach was that as far as he is concerned I am at least going to be around for another 40 years so while the surgery is much more involved he feels the long term benefit is better - so I'm all for what is going to be better when I'm in my late 70's!
It will mean relying on others again for a 3-4weeks or more as I recover and can't drive and care for the children fully but I've had to learn to do that anyway so I'll keep going with it. I can also have it done while I am having my herceptin treatment - sooner rather than later - sooner onto moving on from this phase in my life! Yippee!
The other upside - a tummy tuck :-) Let's hope the plastic surgeon agrees with my breast surgeon.
Hope everyone is doing good this week.
Amanda xx
I saw my surgeon yesterday and we started discussing my reconstruction. I am off to see a plastic surgeon next month. I didn't fill my expander any more as he didn't feel there would be any benefit to it. He has recommended a DIEP flap reconstruction and I am feeling quite good about it - obviously a longer consultation with the plastic surgeon but I think I would like to go with a tissue reconstruction rather than implants. I just really dislike the feel of the hardness on my chest and I don't like the idea of something foreign in me.
I really liked that his approach was that as far as he is concerned I am at least going to be around for another 40 years so while the surgery is much more involved he feels the long term benefit is better - so I'm all for what is going to be better when I'm in my late 70's!
It will mean relying on others again for a 3-4weeks or more as I recover and can't drive and care for the children fully but I've had to learn to do that anyway so I'll keep going with it. I can also have it done while I am having my herceptin treatment - sooner rather than later - sooner onto moving on from this phase in my life! Yippee!
The other upside - a tummy tuck :-) Let's hope the plastic surgeon agrees with my breast surgeon.
Hope everyone is doing good this week.
Amanda xx
